
Class IPS_3JO^ 
Bnnic .W\A( kC !3 



CDPSRIGHT DEPOSm 



V 



A 



TAILOR-MADE MAN 

A NEW COMEDY 



BY 

HARRY JAMES SMITH 



Copyright, January, 1919, by Edith Smith, 
Administratrix of Estate of Harry James Smith 



TAILOR-MADE MAN 

A NEW COMEDY S^ — 



BY 

HARRY JAMES SMITH 



Copyright, January, 1919, by Edith Smith, 
Administratrix of Estate of Harry James Smith 



^^^^^ 



^^^ 



A' 



\ 



©CID 51026 
JAN 23 1919 



•^^^r TAILOR-MADE MAN 
THE CHARACTERS 



Mr. Huber: 

The tailor, 55, living in America, hut retaining the 
parental manners and creed of the Old World. 
Irritable, hut at heart very true and kind. 

Rowlands : 

An energetic, husiness-like fellow of 35, radiating 
optimism and success. 

Peter : 
An uncouth, thrifty, self-satisfied tailor's helper, 
with a touch of eccentricity. 

SONNTAG : 

An intellectual, self-centered scholar of 35 ; rather 
surly, tyrannical manner; fires are slumhering 
under the surface. He should he somewhat 
picturesque. 

Tanya : 

A simple, sturdy, sweet, loyal girl of 18. 

John Paul: 

A clean-cut, likeable young chap, very human 
sincere; no affectations. His belief in himself 
IS a real and fine thing, not mere self-conceit. 



A 

4 '^=^ TAILOR-MADE MAN 

POMEROY : 

The valet; comic personality; preferably plump, 
and rather effeminate. 

Mrs. Stanlaw : 

The gracious hostess; cultivated manner, just 
a suggestion of snobbishness. 

Mr. Stanlaw : 
A successful, self-made man of affairs, not quite 
at ease in society, but conscientiously doing his 
hit. 

Corinne: 

A brilliant, rather icy girl, well bred manners, 
and a certain degree of affectation and pose. 

Westlake : 

A presentable society fellow, rather a sissy. 

Kitty Dupuy : 

A luscious divorcee, ready to use her charm in 
any good cause. 

Bessie Dupuy: 

A carefully drilled, very naive young girl. 

Jellicot : 

An effervescent, innocuous yachtsman of 35 ; 
comic personality, very British manners. His 
clothes are an absurd misfit, which fact con- 
stantly agitates him. 

Nathan : 
A distinguished, polished financier, with princely 
manners; evidently of the Jewish race. Sin- 
cere, must hav^ authority. 



«fS^TAILOR-MADE MAN 5 

Miss Shayne: 

A matter-of-fact, up-to-date typist of 20. 

Whitcomb : 

A testy old gentleman. 

Carroll "^ 

Crane > Presentable young society men. 

Fleming J 

Russell ^ Typical Irish labor leaders of 

Cane y /^. ,,. , . , 

p ] the intelligent, determined sort. 

RussELLi The head of the delegation, is 55^ gf"ciy- 
haired, dignified — wearing silk hat and frock 
coat. 

Cane and Flynn : 25, are aggressive, ambitious 
and sincere. 



THE TAILOR-MADE MAN 

ACT I 

Scene: A. Huber's tailoring establishment. 

Discovered: Rowlands is standing on a fitting 
stand down c. in his shirt sleeves. Huber is 
standing r. of him, measuring him for a suit 
of clothes. Peter is sitting l. of desk l._ c, 
setting down figures at Ruber's dictation. 
Peter is in his shirt sleeves; so is Huber, who 
also wears an apron. Ruber's coat is hanging 
on clothes-stand up R. Rowlands' vest and 
coat are on hack of chair l. of work table R. 
His hat is on the work table and his overcoat 
on table up R. of c. door. 

- Huber. {Taking a side measurement of leg; 
speaking as the curtain rises) Thirty-two and a 
half. 

Peter. {In decisive, surly tones) And a half. 
{Setting dozvn the figures in book) 

Huber. {Measuring around the waist) And I 
must say, Mr. Rowlands, it seems a terrible pity that 
such an educated man like Dr. Sonntag can't find 
one single publisher to publish his book for him. 
Why, sir, the thing is a masterpiece. {To Peter) 
Thirty-eight. 

Peter. {Setting down the figures) Thirty- 
eight. 

Rowlands. I suppose you've read every word 
of it? 



8 -O^ME TAILOR-MADE MAN 

HuBER. {Measuring the hips) Well no, Mr. 
Rowlands, not if you put it that way. I'm much 
too busy a man to be reading books. The little 
shop takes up all my time, and my daughter's too. 
She keeps the accounts. {To Peter) Forty-two. 

Peter. {Setting dozvn figures) Forty-two. 

HuBER. {He crosses to desk l. snapping his 
fingers to Peter, zvho, with a grin, opens th^dozvn- 
stage drazver of desk and takes out the MS. of 
Sonntag's book and hands it to Huber) Dr. 
Sonntag has been five whole years writing this, and 
just the manuscript alone. {Crosses to l. of Row- 
lands) Here it is, sir. Look at it. Lift it. {Puts 
the AIS. in Rowlands' hands) Pounds! 

Rowlands. {Amused, as he zjueighs the hook in 
his hands) Five years to write it! That's a pound 
a year, minimum estimate. 

Huber. And the hardest part of it all is, him 
and my daughter was expecting to get married on 
the proceeds. You know what young folks are ; 
they want to get hitched up. {Measures knee) 

Rowlands. {Amused, as he turns over the 
pages of the MS.) Sounds like a good old-fash- 
ioned love match. 

Huber. Oh, yes indeed, sir. I saw to the whole 
thing myself. {He looks knozvingly at Rowlands ; 
both laugh. Turning tozi'ard Peter) Nineteen. 

Peter. {Same business) Nineteen. 

Huber. {Kneeling and measuring bottom of 
trousers) I don't mean that there was any childish 
nonsense about it. Dr. Sonntag is a scholar, and 
naturally that takes up most of his time. {To 
Peter, as he rises) Sixteen. 

Peter. {Same business) Sixteen. Cuff or no 
cufie? 

Huber. {To Rowlands) Cufif? 

Rowlands. Cuff. 

Huber. {To Peter) Cuff. 



^^^TAILOR-MADE MAN 9 

Peter. Cuff. (Makes memorandum, closes the 
hook, rises and cornes c. Rowlands goes R. puts on 
his coat and vest. Peter takes the fitting stand, 
places it under table up r. and exits R. Rowlands 
comes to c.) 

HuBER. {Puts tape measure over his shoulders, 
takes the MS. to desk l. c, then goes uf? r. ^efs 
Rowlands' overcoat, comes to c. and helps him 
on zvith it) And as for Tanya, I have brought 
her up to be an obedient daughter in every respect. 
I intend her to be iust such a wife as her mother 
was to me back in the old country. And now, Mr. 
Rowlands, I suppose you can't give me any good 
advice abnut how to ret the b^ok Dubhshed, 3^ou 
being such a prominent and influential editor. 

Rowlands. But Fm not an editor; I'm a special 
writer. 

(SoNNTAG is seen coming from' l. outside, carry- 
ing some books.) 

HuBER. A what, sir? 

Rowlands. A special writer. I dig up the live 
stuff, put it on paper and peddle it. 

SoNNTAG. (Enters c. and comes down l. c.) 
Why does nobody answer the house bell ! I have 
been ringing it for five minutes. 

HuBER. (Trying to pacify him) Tanya must be 
out, Dr. Sonntag. 

SoNNTAG. Where did she go? 

HuBER. I don't know. 

Sonntag. Was she alone? 

HuBER. Why, yes. 

Sonntag. Well, you may tell her I was dis- 
pleased not to find her! (Starts up c. as if to go: 
Rowlands gets his hat and puts it on) 

HuBER. (Follozving Sonntag up c.) But, Doc- 
tor, one moment! (Sonntag stops) I would like 



A 

10 -^ES=^TAILOR-MADE MAN 

you to meet Mr. Rowlands — {Comes down-stage 
zvith Sonntag) the famous editor. Mr. Rowlands, 
this is Dr. Gustavas Sonntag. {To Sonntag, after 
the men acknowledge the introduction) He was 
just making some inquiries about your book this 
very minute. 

Sonntag. {With interest) Ah! 

HuBER. He desired to know what it is r.l' about. 

Sonntag. {Loftily, to Rowlands) It is a new 
inductive Philosophy of the Social Organism. 

HuBER. {Beamingly, to Rowlands) That's itf 
Clever subject, eh? Tell him further, Doctor. 

Sonntag. The first twenty-four chapters are 
devoted to the exposition of an original theory of 
the Rights of Property. 

HuBER. (7(7 Rowlands) That's it ! Rights of 
Property ! Fine ! 

Sonntag. With arguments drawn from metay 
physics, anthropology, zoology 

Rowlands. {Interrupting, as he crosses to 
Sonntag; Huber going r.) Pretty heavy stuff, 
isn't it ? 

Sonntag. Heavy ! 

Rowlands. Yes. And tell me one thing, Doctor, 
do you expect to support yourself, wife, and possi- 
ble offspring by the labors of your pen? 

Sonntag. Certainly. 

Rowlands. Then, my dear Doctor, I'd advise 
you to take those twenty-four chapters and lock 
them up in your bureau drawer at once. 

Sonntag. What ! 

Rowlands. And turn your head to something 
that somebody will be interested in reading. You 
know that dry-as-dust theoretical stuff is only good 
to be scrapped. 

Sonntag. {Angrily) But I tell you this is sen- 
sational ! It will cause a revolution! 

Rowlands. {Putting on his gloves) No doubt; 



d3e=TAIL0R-MADE MAN ii 

but there's no money in it. Now, if you would take 
up, say some little scandal in fashionable society, 
that might make a hit. 

SoNNTAG. {Scornfully) No, thank you! 
(Crosses to desk and puts hooks down) I'll write 
big things or nothing at all ! (Moves up L. takes off 
his hat and outer coat and puts them on the table l. 
of c. door) 

HuBER. (To Rowlands, with conciliatory man- 
ner) You must excuse him, Mr. Rowlands; that 
is the scholar of it. They are not like us. Now, 
if you would be able to come in for the trying-on 
next Tuesday, Mr. Rowlands? 

Rowlands. Tuesday? Very well. {Going up to 
c. door; Huber following him) And, Doctor, let 
me know when that revolution comes and I'll give it 
•a write-up. (Sonntag, with an impatient exclam- 
ation^ comes down l. c.) Good-bye, Mr. Huber. 

Huber. Good-bye, Mr. Rowlands. (Rowlands 
exits c. and off r. Huber comes down r. c. protest- 
ing earnestly to Sonntag) Now what for do you 
treat an influential man like that so offish and sul- 
len ? I think his advice is good. 

(Tanya enters slowly dozvn-stage l., carrying a 

ledger. ) 
Sonntag. {Crosses to Huber, loftily insulted) 
My dear Mr. Huber, you may be a most excellent 
tailor, but I beg you not to afflict me any more with 
your literary advice. 

(Ta.:5jya hesitates l. of desk and zvatches them.) 

Huber. {Flaring up) Very well! And I beg 
you not to be disrespectful any more to one of my 
patrons because I will not have it ! So ! 

(Tanya places the ledger on desk l. and crosses 



4 
12 -«E TAILOR-MADE MAN 

above and between the tzvo men. They speak 
as she comes between them.) 

Son NT AG. I say what I choose ! 
HuBER. Not in my shop ! My shop is- 



Tanya. (Quickly, smilingly reproachful) Ah, 
ah, ah ! Naughty old bears ! Aren't you ashamed ! 
At it again ! 

HuBER. (Rather sheepishly) It wasn't my fault, 
Tanya ! 

Sonntag. (With scorn) Oh, so it makes no 
difference to you that I have written here a book — 
(Indicates MS.) that will live long after you are 
dead, buried and forgotten ! 

Tanya. Perhaps it's wicked of me, but I would 
like to be happy before I am dead, buried and for- 
gotten. (Crosses to l. of desk, sits and busies her- 
self with ledger) 

Sonntag. (Harshly) Tanya Huber, what has 
got into you lately ! You did not use to talk this 
way. (Sits R. of desk, opposite her) 

Huber. (Moves over above l. desk) Tanya, you 
must be more respectful to Dr. Sonntag. 

(Slight pantomime between Tanya and Sonntag, 
then he reads and she works on ledger.) 

Peter. (Enters with a dress-suit over his arm) 
Well, here they are. (Throws the suit on the work- 
table) 

Huber. (Moves over r.) What is it, Peter? 

Peter. (Surly) These dress clothes is ready 
to be pressed. 

Huber. (Sharply) Well, why don't you run 
along and press them ! Twice already has Mr. Jel- 
licot telephoned this afternoon. 

Peter. (Sturdily) Mr. Huber, my work is cut- 
tin', bastin', rippin', stitchin', button-holin' and 



^^ig^AILOR-MADE MAN 13 

linin' and anything outside of that goes against the 
by-laws. The pressin' in this shop is did by John 
Paul Bart. 

(SoNNTAG has turned and is listening to Peter.) 

SoNNTAG. (With lofty calm, pointing to Peter, 
who moves down) There you have it! This very 
anomaly I explain in my book, *' Here," I say, " is 
not a Democracy, but a Proletariarchy." 

Huber. (Testily) - What is that Proliarchy ? 

SoNNTAG. Proletariarchy ! It is a word I coined 
myself. 

(Peter moves up r. a bit.) 

Huber. Ach ! Such f ooHshness ! ( Turns to 
Peter; Sonntag resumes reading) I want John 
Paul Bart! (Tanya rises and crosses to Huber) 
Where is he, the conceited, good-for-nothing loafer 
with his fine gentleman manners and his manicured 
finger nails ! Three hours and a half since I sent 
him on that errand ! Wait till he comes back ! He'll 
get something that will surprise him! 

Peter. (With grim satisfaction) And 'igh time, 
if I do say it ! He's bad all through, is Johnny Paul, 
bad! 

(John Paul is seen outside, coming slowly from l.) 

Tanya. (Indignantly, as she crosses to table r. ; 
Huber going up l. c.) Peter, that's a perfectly 
horrid thing to say of anybody ! (Sits L. of work- 
table) 

(John Paul Bart enters c.) 

Peter. Johnny Paul! 

John Paul. Everybody here? Delightful! 



A 

14 -^HETTAILOR-MADE MAN 

{Doffs his hat charmingly, as he comes dozvn c. 
Then turns to Huber) I trust sir, that my slight 
tardiness has not occasioned you any inconvenience ? 

Huber. (Testily, as he comes to l. of Bart) 
It has! 

John Paul. Oh, I'm sorry! (Goes down r., 
takes off his overcoat and hat and hangs them on a 
hanger, preparatory to work. Peter goes up r. 
Huber steps forward to expostulate and Tanya 
tries to silence him) 

Huber. (c. ; breathlessly indignant) Well! 
Well ! Why don't you come along and tell me it 
takes three hours and a half to measure for a suit 
of clothes ! 

(Sonntag turns and listens.) 

John Paul. I'd no idea of telling you such a 
thing, Mr. Huber. It only takes ten minutes. But 
first, of course, you must get your chance to take 
the measurements. At the time of my arrival 
the gouty old party was still dallying over his 
lunch. (As he crosses to r. of Huber, Peter com- 
ing down R.) And now I ask you candidly, Mr. 
Huber, could you expect me to measure the gouty 
old party's legs while said legs were under the 
table? (No anszver front Huber) There you see! 
Of course not. I saw my duty at once. It was to 
wait. I waited. Voila ! 

Huber. Voila! What is that voila? 

John Paul. (Casually, as he takes off his coat 
and rolls up his shirt sleeves) . Just a little scrap 
of French I picked up while waiting. One of those 
untranslatable little idioms with which the French 
language is so richly supplied. It means — well— 
(With an expressive gesture) Voila! 

Peter. (With a snort of disgust) Oh, Pickles! 
(He exits r. Tanya throws him a cross look as he 
goes) 



/4 

THE TAILOR-MADE MAN 15 

HuBER. And so that's how you wasted three 
hours and a half ! 

John Paul. Wasted ! My dear sir, I improved 
each shining moment. I conversed with the youn^ 
lady who makes the beds ; Nanette, her name was ; 
short for Antoinette — and I gave her a little he^p 
in making them. I conversed with the youns^ lady 
who superintends the children. (He hands Tanya 
a photograph which he takes from his vest pocket) 
Here's a picture of the babies. 

Tanya. Oh, aren't they cunning! 

John Paul. I assisted in dressing one of them. 
(With a smile at Tanya as he crosses r. above 
zvork-table) It was most educational. I love to 
interchange ideas. 

(Tan::(^a looks at him.) 

HuBER. If you loved to work you'd make a 
better tailor. 

John Paul. I've no desire to make a better 
tailor. 

Tanya. (With delight) Oh, John Paul, how 
funny you are! (Hands him back the photograph) 

HuBER. (Severely) Funny! What is there 
funny about him ! 

Sonntag. (Conclusively^ as he rises) There is 
nothing funny about him! He is disgusting! 
(Exits L.) 

Tanya. (Protesting) Oh, Gustavus ! 

HuRER. (To John Paul) The next thing for 
you to do is to press Mr. Jellicot's dress clothes. 

John Paul. (With an irresistible smile, as he 
arranges things on the zvork-table) Avec plaisir, 
monsieur. 

HuBER. See here, young man, I speak plain 
EngHsh, do you hear me? 

JoTiN Paul (Quietly, blandly) Perfectly. You 



i6 T^raE" TAILOR-MADE MAN 

said, you spoke plain English. Wasn't that it? 

HuBER. {To Tanya, after chokina down his 
anger) See here, you! I have something to say 
to this fine gentleman in private! {Motions her to- 
ward L.) 

Tanya. {Pleadinnly, as she rises and goes to r. 
of Huber) But, Father, he doesn't mean any 
harm! Can't you see it's only his funny way! 

Huber. (Sternly) Upstairs! 

Tanya. Oh, but Father, pkase don't be cross 
with John Paul ! 

Huber. {Moving her over to l. c.) Upstairs! 
I know what to say to John Paul ! 

Tanya. But Father, this is the night you have 
to speak at that lodge meeting in Queensboro. 
You'll be late. 

Huber. I will see to that. This comes first. 

Tanya. (Pleadingly) Father! 

Huber. Upstairs! {Slight pause; Tanya 
doesn't move) Upstairs! (Tanya pantomimes to 
John Paul to be careful, placing her finger on her 
lips, then quickly exits l. Huber turns to John 
Paul) And now, John Paul — (John Paul, smil- 
ing, as if flattered, crosses to r. of Huber) I'll ask 
you to listen to a few remarks what I've been sav- 
ing up for a long time yet. 

John Paul. (Sits l. of work-table) Why, any- 
thing you can say, Mr. Huber, is sure to interest 
me. 

Huber. {Angrily) Maybe you don't realize that 
I am the boss of this shop and that your wages 
come from me! 

John Paul. I realize it acutely, Mr. Huber. 

Huber. {Goaded to fury by the other's man- 
ner) You do, do you! Then why must I always 
be having trouble with you ! Look at that little 
Scotchman, Peter McConkie ! See how he sticks 
to his work ! See how ambitious he is to better 



TAILOR-MADE MAN 17 

himself! Why, he not only works days, but 



nights. 



John Paul. Indeed? Night work? I wasn't 
aware this shop was open nights. 

HuBER. (Impatiently) Not in the shop ! There 
has been a shortage of waiters this winter- 

John Paul, (interrupting) Petet, a waiter ! 

HuBER. Well, at nights. I was very glad to 
recommend him to a friend of mine with influence, 
and very good money he makes, too, helping out as 
an extra at sv/ell parties. (John Paul laughs) 
What are you laughing at? 

John Paul. I wish I could see Peter handing 
about refreshments. 

Hltber. Whatever Peter does is done well. He 
would be a good example for you to follow. Why 
have you no ambition ; no self-respect ? 

John Paul. But I have ! I have both those 
qualities, Mr. Huber, but what good do they do 
me here ? What chance do you give me to use them 
here? From morning till night you keep dinging 
into me that I am your inferior, your servant ; that 
my only excuse for being here at all is that heap 
of clothes there. (Pointing to work-table r.) If 
I press pants for so many hours a day you give 
me my wages and there's an end to it. Do you 
see anything in that to stimulate a fellow's am- 
bition? 

Huber. (Disgusted) Oh, you talk too much! 
(Turns l.) 

John Paul. But here's an idea I've been turn- 
ing over in my mind. (Huber turns hack to John 
Paul) If you would consider giving me a share 
in the management of this establishment I believe 
I could accomplish things that would amaze you. 

Huber. (Furiously) You actually propose — 
that I should give you a share in the — ! Of all the 
impudence I ever yet was to meet! I tell you right 



A 
i8 -^^HE'TAILOR-MADE MAN 

here, John Paul, another such time Hke this after- 
noon and out of this shop you go ! 

John Paul. (Qiiietly) Oui, monsieur. 

HuBER. (Speechlessly indignant, goes above l. 
c. desk to opening, and calls) Tanya! 

Tanya. (Off l.) Coming, Father! 

HuBER. (Comes hack to c. and points to work- 
table) There, that work bench! That's what you 
ought to be thinking of ! 

(John Paul rises, crosses to work-fable and re- 
sumes zvork.) 

Tanya. (Enters, comes bclozv desk, brushes the 
coat and arranges it; crosses to Huber) You called 
me. Father? 

Huber. Yes, Fve got to go to that lodge meet- 
ing at Queensboro. 

Tanya. Yes, and you'll be late. 

Huber. (Takes off his tape and apron, puts them 
on L. desk and starts l.) I must go and get my hat 
and coat. 

Tanya. I asked Gustavus to bring it down. 
(Goes R. gets his coat and helps him on with it) 

Huber. (Affectionately) You're always think- 
ing of what is in my mind ! A fine little housewife ! 
What would I have done without you these ten 
years since Mama died. 

(SoNNTAG enters l. with Huber's overcoat and hat. 
He gives the coat to Tanya and puts the hat 
on up-stage end of desk l. c.) 

Tanya. And what would I have done without 
you! (Helps him on with his overcoat) 

Huber. (Kisses her) Good night, Tanya. 
Good night, Dr. Sonntag. 

Sonntag. (Sits r. of desk) Good night, Mr. 
Huber. 



TAILOR-MADE MAN 19 

HuBER. {Goes up to c. door; Tanya moves up 
and gets his hat) And now, John Paul, pay at- 
tention. Those dress clothes are to be delivered 
to Mr. Jellicot the moment they are finished; the 
suit and the fur overcoat in the workroom ; and you 
are not to quit work till they are done. Do you 
hear me? 

(Tanya stands l. of door.) 

John Paul. {Mildly; stops work) I thought I 
had proved to you that my auditory faculties were 
normal. 

HuBER. {Sputters, too angry to speak; turns 
and grabs his hat) Good night, Tanya! 

Tanya. Good night. Father. 

(HuBER slams his hat on his head and exits c. and 

offL.) 

John Paul. {Lifting iron) Something must 
have irritated him. 

Tanya. {Half laughing, half reproachful, as she 
goes R.) John Paul, why must you always rub 
father the wrong way? {Sits l. of work-table) 

John Paul. {With quiet seriousness, as he 
presses a coat) It isn't intentional, Miss Tanya; I 
give 3^ou my word. I suppose he wants me to talk 
like a tailor, but that's a thing I can't do. 

SoNNTAG. And why not? 

John Paul. {With casual manner, but posi- 
tively) Destiny. 

SoNNTAG. {Loftily amused) Destiny! And 
What do you mean by destiny, if you please? 

John Paul. You've heard it said you can't make 
a silk purse out of a sow's ear, well, the contrary 
is just as true. You can't make a sow's ear out of 
a silk purse. {With definiteness) It can't be done ! 



20 -^IS. TAILOR-MADE MAN 

Son NT AG. And that excuses you for staying 
away from the shop all the afternoon? 

John Paul. You've no idea how these surround- 
ings depress me, I stifle! (Puts iron down) My 
who'e being cries out for a more stimulating atmos- 
phere. Physically, Doctor, I feel better — more 
keenly sensitized — at the Knickerbocker Club. ( Uses 
Lzrge brush. As Sonntag laughs sneeringly) Oh, 
I often put in a few hours there. 

Tanya. The Knickerbocker Club 1 

Sonntag. (Sarcastically) And pray how would 
you ever get in the Knickerbocker Club? 

John Paul. Oh, the front way isn't the only 
way, Doctor. An acquaintance of mine is billiard 
marker there, and by his assistance I have often 
got in and been allowed to watch what goes on from 
behind a swing door. 

Sonntag. (With contempt) Oh! 

John Paul. Not very dignified, you say? 
Granted. But I must get my schooling somehow, 
and once on my sentry duty I don't let a syllable or 
a gesture get by me. At first it seemed to me I 
could never acquire that unconscious easy bearing 
that marks those fellows, but I kept at it and now 
I can turn the trick as well as the best of them. 
(Uses iron again) 

Sonntag. (Laughs sarcastically) Listen to 
that ! A regular young aristocrat ! You're crazy. 

John Paul. So is every Genius. 

(Tanya smiles.) 

Sonntag. I am not crazy. 

(Tanya and John Paul smile.) 

John Paul. (Picks up his iron and crosses up- 
stage tozvard Sonntag) Surely Doctor, you've read 



^a**e-TAILOR-MADE MAN 21 

Lombroso on " Insanity and Genius." It's a classic. 
There's one chapter 

Peter. (Enter r. with a suit on his arm, and 
comes down below work-table. He is dressed in 
his street clothes) Thirty minutes over time to get 
these finished up. (Hands the suit to Tanya, who 
rises. John Paul returns to his work) 

Tanya. (Takes the suit and starts up l.) Yes, 
Peter, I'll do them up. (Turns to him) Oh, will 
you deliver them, Peter ? 

Peter. Yes; but that will take forty-five min- 
utes. (Goes to c. ; Tanya goes up to table l. of c. 
door) Miss Huber — (Tanya tiirns to him) be 
sure to give me credit for forty-five minutes over- 
time. 

Tanya. (Laughs) Very well, Peter, I'll see 
to it. (She starts packing the suit in a box at table 
up L. John Paul laughs) 

Peter. (Turns as John Paul laughs) Ho, ho! 
So you've really started to work, have ye, Johnny 
Paul! I'm surprised! 

John Paul. (Bored) May I beg you not to 
address me as Johnny Paul? 

Peter. And why not, Johnny Paul, if you please! 
Ain't you a tailor's hand like me? 

John Paul. Temporarily. (Turns the ironing 
board around and presses the shoulders of the coat) 

Peter. See here, Mr. Stuck-up, talk'll never get 
you nowheres. It's work, honest work and good 
habits. Now me, I work nights as well as days. I 
do, and I'm savin' up every dollar and layin' it by, I 
am. 

John Paul. Then some day you may have a 
nice little tailor shop of your own — you may. 

Peter. (With his most cutting sarcasm) Aye, 
and when 1 have that, do you know what you'll 
have? A nice little uniform with stripes goin' 
round this way. (Indicates the stripes of a con- 



A 

22 r^S^n:AILOR-MADE MAN 

z'icfs suit. John Paul laughs) 

Tanya. (Coming dozvn l. c.) Oh, for shame, 
Peter McConkie ! 

Peter. (Turns to her) Well, he's got ideas 
that'll get him into trouble some day, they will. I 
know what Fm talkin' about. Why, only this morn- 
in' he accused me to my face of livin' off'n my bet- 
ters. 

John Paul. (Quietly) Well, and so you do. 

(Tanya resumes her packing.) 

Peter. (Turns to John Paul, flaring up angrily) 
Oh, and so I does, do I ! I like that ! I think you'd 
better come along and explain what you mean by 
that! (Threateningly) Livin' off'n my betters! 

(Tanya stops and listens, taking a step forward to- 
ward the two men.) 

John Paul. (Crossing below table to r. of 
Peter) Now, see here, Peter McConkie; where 
would you be if it weren't for the rich people you're 
always abusing with your cheap epithets? How 
would you earn a living? Do you think people of 
your own class would pay a hundred dollars for cut- 
ting a smart suit of clothes ? Well, hardly ! You 
owe the very means of your existence to us. 

Peter. You ! 

John Paul. I meant the upper classes. 

Peter. (Dumbfounded) D'ye hear that ! 

John Paul. Ileverybody had money, what value 
would money have? (Sonntag turns and listens; 
then as John Paul continues he opens his MS. 
riffling the pages to find the part from which Bart 
is quoting. Tanya resumes packing) There'd 
be no incentive to ambition ; to industry ; No, — 
money must be concentrated in the hands of the few. 



-A 



AILOR-MADE MAN 23 

It is their touch, and theirs alone, which transmutes 
it into a precious metal. {Taps Peter lightly on the 
chest) See? 

(Tanya comes dozvn to l. of c. door zvith the box.) 

Peter. {Sullenly) No, I don't see! I haven't 
the least idea what you're spoutin' about, but I know 
this; whatever it is, it's rotten! {Goes upstage c. 
takes the box which Tanya hands hhn, and exits 
c. and off l.) 

(John Paul finishes the coat, hangs it on hanger 

on wall.) 

SoNNTAG. {Rises, picks up his MS. and crosses 
to L. of work-table) Look here, Johnny Paul, you 
got that from my book. 

(Tanya drops dozvn l. c. above the desk.) 

John Paul. {Blandly) Big stuff, isn't it? 

SoNNTAG. I thouo^ht SO wheu I w^rote it. 

John Paul. I thought so when I read it. 

SoNNTAG. You mean to tell me you've been 
reading my manuscript ! 

John Paul. {Crossing to Sonntag) Indeed I 
have, Doctor ! I've read it three times over and 
I'm delighted with this opportunity to congratulate 
you. It's enormous! {Takes Sonntag's hand and 
shakes it heartily) 

(Tanya moves over r., above the two men.) 
Sonntag. {Dumbfounded, he steps back, pull- 
ing his hand from Bart's grasp) Well, of all the 
nerve ! 

John Paul. {Airily, as he follows Sonntag l.) 
Don't mention it, sir, nothing at all. A work of 



24 -^^ TAILOR-MADE MAN 

^erenius, Dr. Sonntag, and I can't tell you how grati- 
fied I was to find set down in black and white the 
very things I've vaguely felt myself — without know- 
ing how to phrase them. Why, it's just as if I'd 
dictated it to you — whole passages — especially the 
brilliant ones. Now this, for instance : " Riches 
are a GoMen Calf which — " No, that's not what 
I'm after. Hold on a bit. {Takes several pink 
slips from his pocket and runs them over) I jotted 
down a few hasty notes. 

Sonntag. Notes ! You've been making notes 
from my book ! (Looks over John Paul's shoulder 
at the notes) 

Tanya. (Comes to r. of John Paul) Oh, 
let me see, too ! 

John Paul. Yes, here we are. (Reading from 
the slips) '' Riches are the basis and symbol of 
that power which keeps the wheels of the social 
orp-anism functionally reciprocal." There's a mag- 
nificent sentence for you ! Fills the mouth ! " Func- 
tionally reciprocal." You can set your teeth in 
that ! 

Sonntag. (With lofty irony) Well, Tanya, I 
was not aware your father had a critic in his em- 
ploy. (Amoves to R. of desk and puts down the MS. 
Tanya goes r. c.) 

John Paul. Oh, I'm no critic. Dr. Sonntag. 
All I know is those ideas have the right feel to 
them. They'll go! They'll work! 

(Tanya sits l. of work-table, looking admiringly 
at John Paul.) 

Sonntag. You flatter me ! (Sits r. of desk and 
reads) 

John Paul. (Moves over to r. of Sonntag) 
The only trouble is — pardon my frankness, Doctor, 
I have to say this — you're dull. 



«gE TAILOR-MADE MAN 25 

SoNNTAG. (Dumbfounded) Eh! 

John Paul. And dullness is fatal. Why, I tell 
you that a man with a breezy, human personality, 
a??reeable manners, and the right degree of self- 
confidence — like me, for instance — why, with those 
ideas I could lift the world off its axis. 

Tanya. (With enthusiasm) Oh, I believe you 

could ! 

SoNNTAG. (Patronidngly) It was a mistake to 
leave the manuscript where you could get at it. 
I see it has upset you. 

John Paul. On the contrary, it has set me up. 
At last I know where I stand. 

SoNNTAG. (Sneeringly) Oh, I see! You have 
ambitions. 

John Paul. I have. (Looks straight ahead, as 
though seeing into the future) 

Sonntag. What sort? 

John Paul. Big. 
. Sonntag. You see yourself at the top. 

John Paul. I do. 

Sonntag. (Amused) Well, you don't seem 
to be getting there very fast. 

John Paul. (Slowly) I'm a fatalist. I believe 
in my star. I'm waiting for it to rise. 

Sonntag. I'm afraid you'll have to wait a long 
time. 

John Paul. The main thing is to be ready 
when it rises. (He crosses above table R., speaking 
to Tanya as he passes her. She replies to him un- 
der her breath) 

(PoMEROY is seen outside, coming from r.) 

Sonntag. (Turns and sees Tanya's eyes fixed 
on John Paul) Tanya! (She turns and looks at 
him) Over here ! 




26 ^ffl& TAILOR-MADE MAN 



{She rises and cro'sses to L. c. above the desk. John 

Paul goes r. of work-table and starts pressing a 

pair of trousers.) 

PoMEROY. (Enters c, carrying a suitcase and 
hatbox, and comes down c.) I want to speak at 
once to the proprietor of this estabhshment. 

Tanya. [Rises and moves to l. of Pomeroy) 
I'm sorry, but Mr. Huber is out for the evening. 

Pomeroy. (Peevishly) Oh, he is, is he! And 
how about those dress clothes he promised to send 
to Mr. JelHcot ? JelHcot has telephoned twice al- 
ready, he has, and now I've had to come. 

Tanya. (Crossing to John Paul and indicating 
the clothes he is working on) Those are Mr. Jel- 
licot's clothes, aren't they? 

John Paul. Yes. I'll have them done in a very 
few minutes. 

Pomeroy. 'Igh time, I should say so ! 

Tanya. I'll send the clothes over the moment 
they are ready. 

Pomeroy. Yes, and that's what Huber said over 
the phone and still nothing comes of it. No, I'm 
going to wait right here and see that the man don't 
waste his time. 

Check lights.) 

Tanya. Very well, you're perfectly welcome to 
do so. Won't you sit down? (Moves the chair 
L. of the work-table over to r. c.) 

Pomeroy. (He sits r. c. putting the suitcase 
and hatbox on the floor r. of him. Tanya crosses 
to l. of him) You don't know what I've been 
through since five o'clock ! Such a scene as JelHcot 
makes! Always does if things go wrong with his 
clothes, ** You get out of here ! " JelHcot says, " and 
buy me a brand new outfit; silk hat, collars, 'ose, 
and everything." 



TAILOR-MADE MAN 27 



John Paul. You mean to say you had to buy 
Mr. Jellicot a complete new outfit? (Throughout 
this scene, John Paul listens intently to everything 
PoMEROY says) 

PoMEROY. Yes, Mister. 

Tanya. Why ? 

PoMEROY. Because he wants to look his best 
to-night. He's going to the big 'ouse-warming at the 
Stanlaws. 

John Paul. (Eagerly) The Stanlaws? Really! 

PoMEROY. (Amused) What do you know about 
the Stanlaws, young fellow? 

John Paul. The Stanlaws? Very rich; so- 
ciety climbers; one daughter, Corinne, the most 
beautiful heiress in New York. 

PoMEROY. (Amused; to Tanya) He's right! 
Cuts a great figure, them Stanlaws. Why, one of 
the most prominent gentlemen in this country has 
promised to be at their party to-night. 

John Paul. Abraham Nathan. 

PoMEROY. (Looks at John Paul, then turns to 
Tanya) Pie's right again. (To John Paul) Say, 
you're quite up on the society jottings, ain't you, 
for a tailor's hand. 

John Paul. I am an insatiable reader of the 
newspapers. 

Tanya. Is this Abraham Nathan somebody quite 
big? 

John Paul. Quite big! 

PoMEROY. Big! Oh! 

SoNNTAG. (With rude laughter) Why don't 
you ask if Pierpont Morgan is somebody quite 
big! Abraham Nathan is the President of the 
American Oceanic Shipbuilding Corporation, the 
biggest proposition of its kind in the Western- 
Hemisphere. 

PoMEROY. (To Tanya) He's right! 

John Paul. (With philosophical manner) And 



28 -^iSi^-TAILOR-MADE MAN 

yet, though this American Oceanic Shipbuilding Cor- 
poration faces to-day the greatest opportunity of its 
career, it's in a mess with everybody. (Tanya, 
greatly interested, moves R. ; Pomeroy listens) It's 
employees hate it ; the Government hates it ; worst 
of all the public hates it, and this despite the fact 
that nothing is so important to win, or so easy to 
win if you only know how, as the favor of the 
public. It is the public that makes you — the public 
that breaks you. 

SoNNTAG. (Condescendingly amused) And 
what you do know about the matter, Mr. Bart? 

John Paul. I have made an earnest study of 
your book. Dr. Sonntag. 

Pomeroy. (Impressed, he turns and looks at 
Sonntag) Book! Oh! 

Sonntag. That is not in my book. 

John Paul. Oh yes, it is. 

Sonntag. Where? 

John Paul. Between the lines. - 

(Pomeroy laughs.) 

Sonntag. (Angrily) You had better stick to 
your clothes pressing! (He turns his hack on the 
group and reads his MS. Tanya glances angrily 
at him) 

Pomeroy. (To John Paul) Yes, please, do me 
a favor and get them done. (Tanya moves over to 
L. of Pomeroy) Jellicot wants to meet Nathan to- 
night. Wants to remind him of something. Com- 
ical? (Laughs, as he turns toward Sonntag. 
Sonntag grunts) 

Tanya. (Sweetly to Pomeroy, after a look at 
Sonntag) Tell us' about it. 

Pomeroy. Well, it was on the day of the Pre- 
paredness Parade, and Nathan was just leaving 
the reviewing stand with the Governor when some 



THE TAILOR-MADE MAN 29 

cracked idiot of a laboring man up and lets fly a 
stone right at Nathan's head. Might have killed 
him like as not, but Jellicot, seeing the stone com- 
ing, jerks off his silk hat and catches the stone in 
it very neat and natty-like. Well, sir, what does 
the great Nathan do then? He grabs Jellicot's 
flipper and says : " My dear fellow, I'll never for- 
get this ! " And then he steps into his limousine — 
and forgets. 

(At the beginning of Pomeroy's speech, John Paul 
has stopped work and listened intently to every 
word.) 

Tanya. Oh, what a lovely story ! 

PoMEROY. (Chuckles) Yes. 

John Paul. That's one of the best stories I ever 
heard. 

PoMEROY. (Chuckles) Yes. 

John Paul. Well, I'm done! (Takes coat on 
hanger in his left hand, and puts the trousers over 
his left arm) 

FoMEROY. (Rising with relief) Done? Fine! 
I'll trot right along home so as to ease poor JelH- 
cot's mind. You'll have the clothes over directly? 

John Paul. At the earliest possible moment. 

PoMEROY. That's the way to talk! That's the 
way to talk! (Picks up the suitcase and hat box 
and prepares to go) 

John Paul. Oh, wouldn't you like me to bring 
that suitcase along at the same time? (Points to 
the suitcase) 

PoMEROY. (Slight pause) Suitcase? That's 
very obliging of you, young fellow. (Gives the 
suitcase to John Paul) 

John Paul. (After a slight pause) And the 
hat? 

PoMEROY. (After a slight pause) Well, that's 
very nice of you. 



A 
30 THE TAILOR-MADE MAN 

John Paul. Don't mention it, sir; any little 
service. {Moves up R. a hit) 

PoMEROY. Don't forget his overcoat. 

John Paul. (Slight pause) Overcoat — Oh, 
yes ! It's all ready in the work-room. I'll take the 
overcoat, too. (Exits r.) 

PoMEROY. (A pause, as he watches John Paul 
off) He's an obliging young fellow, isn't he? I'll 
see that Jellicot gives him a handsome little tip 
when he comes. (Turns, grinning, to Tanya) Oh, 
but while I think of it, young lady, you seem to be 
a n'ce sort. Are you fond of automobiles? (Moves 
to R. of chair r. c.) 

Tanya, (l. of chair r. c.) Why, what do mean? 
(Slightly surprised. Sonntag tttrns and listens) 

PoMEROY. Well, you see when Jellicot leaves 
town for a day or two without me, it's quite easy 
for me to get the use of his car for the afternoon. 

Tanya. [Banteringly) Oh, what a nice arrange- 
ment ! You can give little outings to all your lady 
friends free of expense. 

PoMEROY. (Pleased with himself) Oh, no, no, 
no, not free of expense ! We always drop in some- 
where for a cup of tea or something, and of course 
that always costs — but what's a couple of bob more 
or less to me ! But what I was going to say, if ever 
you feel homesick for a merry little jaunt — merry 
and refined at the same time — just call up Lenox 
6-4-0-0 and ask for Pomeroy. That's me, Pomeroy. 
(Extends his hand) I'll say good-bye, Miss — 

Tanya. Huber. (She takes his hand and they 
move over above chair to c.) 

Pomeroy. Good day. Miss Huber. 

Tanya. Good day! 

Pomeroy. (Goes to c. door, smiling and bow- 
ing) Good day! Good afternoon! Good day! 
(Goes out, closing the door, and exits off r. Tanya 
moves up to door zvatching him, and laughing. 



-TAILOR-MADE MAN 31 



SoNNTAG rises and goes down r. muttering angrily) 

Tanya. (As she comes dozvn to L. of Sonntag) 
Is anything the matter, Gustavus? 

Sonntag. Yes ! I am angry ! (Folds his arms 
majestically and looks out front) 

Tanya. (With pretended innocence) Why, 
what is it? Have I done something? 

Sonntag. (Turns to her, surprised) Have you 
done somethin,^! Do you think I would be pleased 
to hear you tittering and sniggering with such a 
person as that! (Points off R.) A silly, conceited, 
unprincipled valet ! 

Tanya. But I found him amusing. Surely you 
don't object to my laughing a little now and then? 

Sonntag. Laugh all you like, but after this 
laugh zvith me! 

Tanya. (IVith zvry face) I can't do that, Gus- 
tavus, it's no use. (Turns up R. with a shrug of her 
shoulders) 

Sonntag. (Strides angrily over to l. c. then 
turns to her) Your manners are too free alto- 
gether ; no modesty. I won't have you making up 
to other men besides me ! 

Tanya. (With a flash, as she comes to l. of 
chair) Be careful, Gustavus ! 

Sonntag. What? 

Tanya. (With gentle manner, but firm) I think 
it would be good for us to understand each other a 
little better. 

Sonntag. (Coming a step toivard her) What 
do you mean? 

Tanya. (Sits) I mean that I have been brought 
up to obey my father; always to reverence his 
wishes no matter if they pleased me or not. My 
duty was to do as I was told. 

Sonntag. Well, and what now? Have you de- 
cided that I am not good enough for you? 

Tanya. I have not decided anything, but I am 



A 

12 ^Se TAILOR-MADE MAN 

beginning to think a little for myself, and I have 
discovered ^/hat it is that American girls admire 
most in a rr .n. It is energy, ambition. They like a 
man who ( jes things. So do I ! 

SoNNTyi. ;. All right, then tell me this ; do you 
know one man with better brains than I ? 

Tanya. (Quietly) No, Gustavus, but what do 
you do with them? 

SoNNTAG. (Furiously) You leave my brains 
alone! (Crosses down l., then comes excitedly to 
c.) Now I know where these silly ideas have come 
from. I might have seen it before! From that 
man in there, John Paul Bart. (Tanya rises, rdoves 
slowly to L. of zvork-table and looks off r.) I saw 
you just now^ listening open-mouthed to his con- 
ceited talk. (Cominq to c.) 

Tanya. (With dignity, as she comes to r. of 
chair) Don't call it conceited ! It isn't conceited ! 
It's splendid ! It's fine ! 

Sonntag. Indeed ! 

Tanya. Oh, it makes me furious the way every 
one of you is down on John Paul ! He never says 
one word but you sneer and laugh at him. Why 
can't you see how wonderful it is that he should 
have worked this out all alone ! 

Sonntag. (Staring at her incredulously) I 
might have guessed it. There is something between 
you! 

Tanya. That's not true ! But I'm his friend — 
and I'm proud of it — and no one can stop me ! 

Sonntag. Listen, Tanya, it is not safe to trifle 
with me. (A piano organ is slowly drawn across 
the stage from r. to l. An Italian is pulling it, and 
behind him is an Italian woman, carrying a tarn- 
hourine. They glance up at the houses as they pass, 
hut are unseen by Tanya and Sonntag. They 
exit off L.) 1 am ready and glad to overlook many 
shortcomings in you, but I am not a man to be trifled 



:3^S TAILOR-MADE MAN 33 

with. Remember — and act accordingly — for that is 
the man you are .s^oing to marry. (Tanya, who 
is restiiifj'^ her hands on the chair back, api^arentlv 
does not hear him) Good night, Tanya. (He cjoes 
tip-stage, gets his hat and coat from table l. of door, 
pnts on his hat, throws -his coat over his arm, then 
turns tozvard Tanya) I said good night. 

Tanya. (Quietly, zvithout looking at him) Good 
night, Gustavus. "(Sonntag exits c. and off R, 
slamming the door after him. Hand organ off left. 
Tanya stands for a moment looking into space, then 
with a sigh and a shrug of her shoulders, she moves 
chair l. of work-table, then goes np-stage and pulls 
down the shades of window r. and l. and the one on 
the door: after looking around the shop a moment, 
she auietly exits left. After pulling down the shade 
on the door, she pushes szvitch l. of door, and lights 
the chandelier. John Paul enters r. dressed in 
evening clothes, opera hat and fur-lined overcoat, 
open, to reveal his evening dress. As he crosses to 
c. he takes out a pair of zvhite gloves from his 
pocket and puts them on as he crosses and stands 
admiring himself and studying himself zvith critical 
approbation in front of a large mirror dozvn l. He 
moves backzvard and forzvard to get the ensemble 
effect as Tanya enters from l.) 

Tanya. (She enters from l. with coverings for 
the tables. She goes above desk. As she sees John 
Paul she puts the sheets on the desk and comes 
dozvn L. c, staring at him; not recognizing him «n- 
til he turns to her; then zvith a gasp) Why — ! ! 

John Paul. {Charmingly, as he doffs his hat) 
You don't remember me, Miss Huber? 

Tanya. {Staring incredulously) John — Paul!! 

John Paul. {With engaging manner; buttoning- 
his gloves) Simply delighted to meet you again. 
Miss Huber. I thought you were still at Palm 
Beach. Caruso is in horrible voice this evening, 



4 

34 ^"^^^ TAILOR-MADE MAN 

don't you think? (In familiar manner) Well? 

Tanya. (Pattse; still unable to believe her eyes) 
What in the world has happened? 

John Paul. Nothing, nothing whatever. This 
is what I've always been, only my clothes are a 
little different. 

Tanya. {As in a dream) I — just — can't be- 
lieve it ! 

John Paul. {Fiill of confidence) That proves 
I was right when I said all I needed was the clothes. 
Would you ever suspect this was the first time in 
mv life I'd been on the inside of a dress suit? Lord, 
how good it does feel! I always knew that clothes 
would be just like w4ngs to a man of my soaring na- 
ture. Without them I crept along the ground like 
a caterpillar. With them I can fly straight to the 
goal of my dreams ! 

Tanya. But where did you ever get them? 

John Paul. Destiny. I've waited thirty-two 
years and five months, and now, all of a sudden — 
without any warning — Voila! 

Tanya. {Suddenly becoming practical) Why 
those are Mr. Je!licot's clothes ! ! 

John Paul. For this evening they are my clothes. 
Wouldn't you think they were cut expressly for 
me? Look! {Throws open his coat, demonstrating 
the fit of the garments) 

Tanya. But you've no right to them ! You must 
go and take them off this very minute ! 

John Paul. Hardly! 

Tanya. But you'll get Father into such a lot 
of trouble ! 

John Paul. No, I won't, leave it to me. Your 
father shan't suffer by anything I do. 

Tanya. {Seriously) But don't you realize Mr. 
Jellicot needs those clothes ! 

John Paul. Not half so badly as I do. 

Tanya. {Reproachfully) But you promised to 



4 

■ ¥iffi TAILOR-MADE MAN 35 

take them to him. 

John Paul. Yes, at the earliest possible mo- 
ment. The earhest possible moment is to-morrow 
morning. He shall have them to-morrow morning. 
No one shall say I am not a man of my word. Bir^ 
to-night ! Why, I'd have to be a tailor all the rest 
of my Hfe, and deserve it too, if I failed to take ad- 
vantage of this opportunity. 

Tanya. (Wonderingly) Opportunity? 

John Paul. Haven't you noticed that everybody 
is going to the reception at the Stanlaws this eve- 
ning? Well, I'm going too. 

Tanya. (Incredulous) You're not in earnest! 

John Paul. Didn't I tell you I was waiting for 
my star to rise? Well, it has risen. Here are the 
clothes to make me presentable ; that's the first step. 
And there, in the palatial mansion I'm going to, is 
the great Nathan, the inaccessible Nathan, ready 
to make my fortune for me. 

Tanya. But you can't get in ! You don't know 
a soul there ! 

John Paul. Lucky ! I don't know a soul and not 
a soul knows me. I've a free hand — carte blanche. 
Everything depends on my own wits. 

Tanya. Oh, you can never do it in the world. 

John Paul. It's worth a try. 

Tanya. But suppose Mr. Jellicot should be 
there ? 

John Paul. Without his clothes? 

Tanya. But how can you get introduced to peo- 
ple? 

John Paul. I shall introduce myself. 

Tanya. Oh, but if you get caught! 

John Paul. (Looking front) I'll have spread 
my wings once. I'll have flown up toward the sun-r- 
once ! 

Tanya. (Admiringly) There never was any- 
one in the world like you, John Paul! (He turns 



36 ^HE TAILOR-MADE MAN 

and looks at her) I think you're wonderful ! 

John Paul. (Thinking she refers to his appear- 
ance, he glances down at his clothes) You've al- 
ways been kind to me, Miss Tanya ; Jolly nice about 
taking my part when I've got in wrong with your 
father. Won't you wish me good luck. I think it 
would be a help to know that someone — a friend — 
was wishing me luck. Won't you? 

Tanya. (Extending her hand) I wish you good 
luck in everything, John Paul. 

John Paul. (Taking her hand) You mean it, 
too ; I see it in your eyes. I never saw them shine 
so bright. 

Tanya. (Stepping back) Are you really going 
to do this thing? 

John Paul. I am. 

Tanya. But have you any money? 

John Paul. (Lightly) Not a red. 

Tanya. (Eagerly) Oh, let me lend you some. 

John Paul. (As he goes upstage c.) Oh, no! 

Tanya. Please! (Crosses to l.) I've thirty- 
five dollars that nobody knows about. (Is about to 
90 off) 

John Paul. Not for anything in the world. 
(Tanya stops) If I succeed I'll get the money. 
If I don't succeed, it won't matter, nothing will 
matter. 

Tanya. (Coming to l of desk) Oh, but I'd like 
to help you, John Paul. 

John Paul. (Impulsively) You dear, dear girl! 
Don't worry about me. (Goes to c. door, turns 
and doffs his hat with a grand bow) And now, 
Miss Huber, I bid you a very good evening. You 
know it would never do to keep all those people 
waiting. (Replaces his hat, throws open the door 
and exits to r., closing the door after him. The 
organ plays. Tanya stands looking after him with 
a wistful, admiring glance as the curtain falls) 




TAILOR-MADE MAN 37 

ACT II 

Scene: Reception room at the Stanlaws. 

Entrance through archway tip l. c. Stair- 
case c, going off l. Opening up R. c. leading 
off R.' to ballroom Archway r., leading off down 
and up R 

Grand Piano and stool c. ; settee in front ; 
armhair r. ; table down l. ; armchair l. of it; 
single chair R. of it; armchair in opening up 
r. c. 

Discovered : A considerable number of guests, men 
and zvomen, are disposed in informal groups, 
mostly above the arches, where they move about 
and on and off as the fancy dictates. 

Mrs. Stanlaw is up r., chatting with the 
guests. Stanlaw is up-stage l. c. Corinne 
sits down-stage r. with Westlake, and Car- 
roll standing r. and l. of her. 

A servant comes from R. and moves to l. 
and up-stage, serving drinks. He goes over at 
back to R. and off r. c. Some of the guests 
drink, replacing their glasses ; others refuse. 

Wheating. {Enter l. c. and announces) Mr. 
and Mrs. Fitzmorris. (Mr. and Mrs. Fitzmorris 
enter and come down-stage l. c. Wheating exits 
after they are on. The conversation among the 
guests dies down) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. {To Mrs. P'itzmorris, as she 
comes down r. c. Stanlaw dropping dozvn l.) 
Oh, my dear, I was so afraid you weren't coming! 

Stanlaw. Hello, Fitz ! Welcome, old man ! 

Fitzmorris. Thanks. {They shake hands) Glad 
to be here, Stanlaw. {He and Stanlaw move 
slightly up-stage ) 

Mrs. Fitzmorris. Oh, but there's darling 



SS ^^i¥^ TAILOR-MADE MAN 

Corinne. (Crosses r. to Corinne) Good eve- 
ning', Corinne dear. How adorable you do look 
to-night ! 

(Mrs. Stanlaw moves over l. c. and converses hi 
undertones zvith Fitzmorris and Stanlaw.) 

Westlake. Doesn't she? 

Corinne. I don't feel at all adorable, Mrs. 
Fitzmorris. (Rises) Pardon me a moment. 
(Crosses to r. c.) Mother — (Mrs. Stanlaw turns 
to her; Servant goes off r.) I think it's perfectly 
ridiculous idea to have those horrid men in livery 
walking about with trays of drinks serving the 
guests. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. You're right, Corinne, it's 
ghastly ! The caterer's to blame ; they're his men. 

(Peter enters up l. c. zvith a tray of drinks.) 

Corinne. Well, the caterer should know better. 
Do speak to Father about it, please. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Yes dear, at once. (Turns l. 
toward Stanlaw) 

Peter. (Has dropped dozvn l. of Mrs. Stan- 
law% and as she turns l. he extends the tray to- 
zvards her) Drink, lady? 

(Corinne zvith an impatient exclamation, turns up 
R. Westlake joins her. Fitzmorris moves 
up l.) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (To Peter) What are you 
doing? 

Peter. Fetchin' drinks around. 
Mrs. Stanlaw. Who told you to do that? 
Peter. Mr. de Corville, the man that hired us, 
Mrs. Stanlaw. Doesn't Mr. de Corville know 



^^i^i: TAILOR-MADE MAN 39 

enough to fill the punch bowl? 

Peter. T don't know nothin' about that ; I'm 
only hired by the night. 

Stanlaw. Don't blame the caterer, Bella, it's 
really my fault. That was my idea. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Mark, you're utterly hopeless ! 
{Turns upstage r.) 

Stanlaw. {To Peter) Give us a look, boy. 
What have you got ? 

' (FiTZMORRis drops down l.) 

Peter. Cocktails, rickies, Scotch and soda. 

Stanlaw. AA^here's the champagne? 

Peter. Comes next time. 

Stanlaw. Why not all the time? Aren't we 
able to afford champagne in this house? 

Peter. Don't know nothin' about that ; I'm only 
hired in by the evenin'. 

[Music forte.) 

Stanlaw. Well, after this make it nothing but 
champagne. 

Peter. Aye! (Stanlaw and Fitzmorris take 
cocktails from the tray, drink, and put empty 
glasses on the piano. Peter exits r. All the 
guests move over to r.) 

Mrs. Fitzmorris. Oh, music ! A one-step ! 

Mrs. Stantaw. Corinne, dear, do take every- 
body to the ball-room ; they're beginning. 

Corinne. Yes, come along! {She urges the 
couple off R. and r. c. and finally exits zvith West- 
lake) 

Mrs. Fitzmorris. Oh, lovely ! Come, Dick !. 
{To Mrs. Stanlaw^ as Fitzmorris crosses up- 
stage to l.) But won't you come, too, dear? 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Not yet. Mr. Stanlaw and I 



A 
40 THE TAILOR-MADE MAN 

must stay on duty a little longer ; there may still be 
a few stragglers. 

Mrs. Fitzmorris. Very well. Come along, Dick, 
that music goes to my feet. {Exits R. with Mrs. 
Fitzmorris. Mrs. Stanlaw is np-stage r. of piano. 
Stanlaw is ahone piano) 

WriEATiNG. (Enters l. c. and announces) Mr. 
John Paul Bart! 

{Music swells.) 

John Paul. {Enters and comes quietly down l. 
bozving to Stanlaw) Good evening. 

Stanlaw. Good evening. 

John Paul. {Bowing to Mrs. Stanlaw) Good 
evening. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Good evening. 

(Stanlaw drops dozvn l.) 

John Paul. {Points off r.) Is that the way 
to the ballroom? 

The Stanlaws. Yes. 

John Paul. {To Mrs. Stanlaw) Thank you. 
{Turns to Stanlaw) Thank you. {Smiles and 
saunters off r. Music forte until he exits) 

Stanlaw. Who is that young man? 

Mrs Stanlaw. I didn't catch the name. Don't 
you know him? 

STANLAw^ I never saw him before in my life. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. He's a stranger to me. 

Stanlaw. That's funny. {Moves above the 
piano and stands looking after Bart) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. {Looking off r. after John 
Paul) He's most likely someone Corinne invited. 

Stanlaw. Yes, probably one of those polo play- 
ers she got acquainted with last summer. 



THE TAILOR-MADE MAN 41 

Wheattng. (Enters l. c. and announces) Mr. 
Rowlands! (Exits after Rowlands is on) 

(Mrs. Stanlaw comes down r.) 

Rowlands. (Enters l. c. and bows to Mrs. 
Stanlaw) Good evening, Mrs. Stanlaw. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (Bowing coolly) Good eve- 
nino^. (Sits down-stage R.) 

PvOwlands. (Moves over to Stanlaw, who is 
still above the piano) Mr. Stanlaw, how are you? 
(Drops down l. of Mrs. Stanlaw ; Stanlav/ go- 
ing dozvn L.) Mrs. Stanlaw, I want to tell you how 
much I appreciate being allowed to look in at your 
reception. T hope I can work up an article that 
will give you real satisfaction. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. I am not a believer in publicity, 
Mr. Rowlands, but if we must be in the papers, why, 
I suppose you are the man to do it. Mark, tell Mr. 
Rowlands who's here? 

Stanlaw Oh, just a few friends. 

Rowlands, (r. c.) Including Mr. Nathan, of 
course. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Oh, I must tell you. Such a 
disappointment ! He just sent word. At the last 
moment there was a very important Directors' 
meeting. 

Stanlaw. Yes, and I should have been there 
myself, being a director, only I couldn't leave the 
party. 

(Music stops as Corinne enters.) 

Corinne. (Enters r. Westlake follows her, 
crosses upstage to l. c.) Well, really, Mother!- 
(As Corinne enters, Stanlaw and Rowlands go 
up l. c. and converse with Westlake) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. What is it, dear? 



A 

42 ^ffiS TAILOR-MADE MAN 

Coi^iNNE. I didn't know you'd invited Kitty 
Dupuy. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. I had to, dear. Didn't you 
ever hear what a friend she used to be of President 
Nathan? Those things have to be thought of. 

CoRiNNE. Yes, and Bessie with her, of course ! 
{Goes up R. crosses and joins group l. c. and shakes 
hands zvith Rowlands) 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Entering from up r. c. briskly) 
Has anyone seen dear Bobby Westlake? (Coming 
dozvn R. c.) 

Westlake. (Caught) Oh! 

(CoRiNNE tosses her head with a '' IV hat did I tell 
you!'' expression.) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (Rising) Ah, Kitty! 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Going to c.) Oh, there you are, 
you bad, dreadful boy, you ! 

(Mrs. Stanlaw goes up r. c. and looks off.) 

Westlake. (He drops down l. c. as Mrs. Du- 
puy moves to c.) Why Mrs. Dupuy, dreadful! 

Mrs. Dupuy. Whatever did you mean by cut- 
ting your first dance with my little Bessie? 

Westlake. Oh, did I ? I'm sorry. 

Mrs. Dupuy. That's easy to say, but you men 
don't realize what such an oversight means to a 
young girl just from the convent. 

Bessie. (Enters r. c. Mrs. Stanlaw greets her 
with ''Ah, Bessie") Mother! (Starts for Mrs. 
Dupuy) 

Mrs. Dupuy. Bessie love, come to mother. (As 
Bessie comes down to r. of her) Mr. Westlake 
feels so mortified over his little blunder and he begs 
you to have the next dance with him. (Music starts 
forte) There's the music. (Propels them up r. 
Westlake holding hack; Mrs. Stanlaw drops 




rAILOR-MADE MAN 43 



dozvn L.) Now run along! Be off with you! 
Quick now ! (As they reach the arch) Bobby 
dear, be very gentle with my little wind flower. 

Westlake. (Hopelessly) I'll try. (Exits r. 
with Bessie. Corinne waves her hand to him. 
Mrs. Stanlaw crosses at back and comes dozvn l. c. 
Rowlands moves up c. for Jellicot's entrance. 
Stanlaw drops dozvn l.) 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Moves dozvn r.) How they love 
it, these youngsters! Youth is so wonderful! (To 
Mrs. Stanlaw as she sits dozvn r.) We mothers 
know what it is to have an only child. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (With cutting sarcasm) Yes, 
dear, but I thought you had a boy, too. 

(Wheating enters up l. c. and stands r. of 

opening.) 

Mrs. Dupuy. Yes, there was a boy, but the 
father got the custody. 

Wheating. (Announces) Mr. Jellicot ! 

(Mrs. Stanlaw rises.) 

Jellicot. (Enters l. c. nervous and excited, and 
comes dozjvn l. c.) Good evening, everybody. 
(Shakes hands zvith Mrs. Stanlaw. He wears a 
suit much too large for him) 

All. (Amused, as they notice his ill-fitting 
clothes) Why, Mr. Jellicotl 

Jellicot. Mrs. Stanlaw, can you ever forgive 
me for coming at such an hour! (Corinne moves 
dozvn to l. of him) I'm so upset and all. I don't 
know what to do ! Upon my word I don't ! 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Why, whatever can be the 
trouble ? 

"Jellicot. The -tailor ran away with my evening 
clothes. (All laugh. He turns to Corinne, who 



A 

.14 -SSE- TAILOR-MADE MAN 

is laughing heartily) I say, don't look at these! I 
know they're a mile out ! Borrowed, you know. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Why, Mr. Jellicot, they look 
perfectly charming ! 

Jellicot. (Innocently) Really! 

Mrs. Dupuy. Teddy Jellicot, you would be 
charming in anything! 

Jellicot. (Crossing to Mrs. Dupuy) Hello, 
Mrs. Kitty Dupuy! (Taking her hand) Oh, I say 
now ! You know 

(Mrs. Stanlaw sits on settee c. Music stops.) 

Rowlands. (Drops down to l. of Jellicot)' 
But haven't you got any trace of the runaway tailor, 
Mr. Jellicot? 

Jellicot. Gad, no, I wouldn't stop for that to- 
night. (Crosses to Mrs. Stanlaw. Rowlands 
joins Mrs. Dupuy) I was bound to come to your 
party to-night, Mrs. Stanlaw, if I died in the act. 
I'm so anxious to meet the great Nathan. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Jellicot I 
At the last minute there was a very important Di- 
rectors' meeting. 

JoLLicoT. Good God ! Then Nathan's not here ! I 

(Stanlaw sits r. of table l.) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. No. It's such a disappointment 
to all of us. 

Jellicot. Oh, dear me ! Oh, dear me ! Why, 
I've been waiting I don't know how many months for 
the chance to meet him. 

Stanlaw. Nathan's a very hard man to meet. 

Jellicot. (Crossing to Stanlaw) That's it! 
That's it ! You see, the one thing in the world I 
want is his vote to get me into the Ionian Yacht 
Club. 



A 

-^Sie- TAILOR-MADE MAN 45 

Stanlaw. The Ionian Yacht Club? Can't be 
done, JelHcot. There's a waitng Hst — as long as 
that — {Indicating with a motion of his arms) ahead 
of you. 

Jellicot. But Nathan's the one man who can 
get me in. Once I get at him I fancy I can swing 
it — {Crosses to l. of Mrs. Stanlaw ; Corinne goes 
L. of him) for you see I flatter myself I figured 
rather handsomely in a little incident he'll be glad to 
have recalled to his mind. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Oh, do tell us about it. 

Jellicot. Really want to hear it? 

All. {Ad lib.) Oh, yes ! What is it, Teddy? 
Tell us about it ! etc. 

Jellicot. Well, it was on the day of the Pre- 
paredness Parade 

{Music starts forte.) 

Rowlands. {Dozvn r. c.) Yes? It was on the 
day of the Preparedness Parade? 

Jellicot. Oh, but I forgot ! You're a news- 
paper man. 

Rowlands. No matter, you can trust me. 

Jellicot. Oh, can I! No, sir, I'll bottle it up. 
Never trust a newspaper man with a good story. 
{Looking off r.) But, I say, Corinne, isn't that a 
dance going on? 

(Mrs. Stanlaw rises.) 

Corinne. Yes. 

Jellicot. Well, have it with me, will you? 

Corinne. {Looking doubtfully at his ill-fitting 
clothes) Well 

Jellicot. Never mind about these clothes. 

Corinne. {Laughing) Well, for your sake, yes. 
{They cross above the piano and off r. c. laughing 



46 °:SHE TAILOR-MADE MAN 

and chatting. Music piano. Mrs. Stanlaw follows 
them up to foot of c. stairs, laughing. Peter enters 
from dozvn r. and crosses iip-stage to c. Rowlands 
moves up-stage R. Stanlaw goes up l. c.) 

Stanlaw. {To Peter) Hi there, boy, what you 
doing now ? 

Peter. {As he takes the two empty glasses 
from the piano) Pickin' up the empties. {Exits 

up L. C.) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. {Mortified) Please don't put 
that in your article, Mr. Rowlands. He is one of 
the caterer's men. 

(Stanlaw goes to l. of the piano.) 

Rowlands. I understand. And now, Mrs. Stan- 
law, am I to be allowed to go over the new house 
with you? 

Mrs Stanlaw. {Going up the stairs) Yes, I 
think I can be spared now. No one is likely to come 
after this. {Turns to Mrs. Dupuy. Stanlaw and 
Rowlands start up-stage after Mrs. Stanlaw) 
Won't you come, too, Kitty? 

Mrs. Dupuy. {As she rises and moves over to 
c.) No, thank you, dear. I think I had better 
stay here and keep a wee bit of a look-out over my 
little Bessie. 

Stanlaw. {As the three exit up the stairs; 
Mrs. Stanlaw first, Rowlands second and Stan- 
law last) Of course, everything is very very sim- 
ple, but that is our ideal of a home. 

(Mrs. Dupuy moves over l. and stands looking off. 
Music forte. John Paul enters r. Dorothy 
and another girl hanging on his arms. The three 
are laughing and talking as they enter, cross 
down-stage to c. and go on up toward the 
stairs.) 



TAILOR-MADE MAN 47 

Gtrl. (On the stairs) We're going to look over 
the house. Won't you come, too, Mr. Bart? 

John Paul. I'd be delighted! (Sees Mrs. Du- 
puy) I'll follow you in a moment, if you'll excuse 
me. 

Girls.. Certainly. (Both go up the stairs and off. 
ToHN Paul inoves over to r., looks off and then 
at I\Trs Dupuy. Mrs. Dupuy moves over c, looks at 
John Paul, seniles slightly and starts slowly for 
the stairs. Music piano) 

John Paul. (To Mrs. Dupuy, as she starts up 
the stairs) Foreive me. (She turns to him) I 
wonder if you could tell me the name of that lovely 
bit of music they're playing? 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Coming down) The name? Oh, 
I'm so sorry ! All I know is that it's strangely 
beautiful ! 

John Paul. Ah, you love music, too ! 

Mrs. Dupuy. Love it ! I adore it ! (Moves down 
L. c. and in front of settee) 

John Paul. (Coming down r. c. and to c.) 
Let me see — what is it Shakespeare says about 
music? " The man 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Interrupting) Yes, yes, I know ! 
It's so beautiful ! Shakespeare did understand ! 
[Drops her fan) 

John Paul. (Restoring the fan to her with a 
gallant how) Permettez, Madame. Voila ! 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Highly pleased) Merci, mon- 
sieur! Mais vous etes, charmant ! (Opens the fan 
and waves it languidly) 

John Paul. (Stepping hack, and with a gesture) 
Ah ! Just like that ! Don't move ! You make the 
picture perfect ! A Watteau I 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Laughs delightedly) You flat-' 
terer! (Sits on' settee c.) 

John Paul. May I sit here? 

Mrs. Dupuy. (With delight) You're perfectly 



A 



48 ^^SS TAILOR-MADE MAN 

outrageous. (Makes room for him. He sits r. of 
her) We haven't been introduced. 

John Paul. Couldn't we waive the formalities 
this once? (Crosses his legs and leans back) This 
is so nice. 

Mrs. Dupuy. It's as^ainst my principles — (Look- 
ing at him; smiles) But no matter — this once. I 
am Mrs. Dupuy. 

John Paul. (Seriously) My dear lady, as if 
you needed to tell me ! Why, who could you be 
but — Mrs. Dupuy! 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Laughs delightedly) You're 
really delightful! (Slight pause) But — ^but you? 

John Paul. (As if surprised, and just a bit 
shocked) Oh, I see! You don't recognize me? 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Embarrassed) I know it's 
dreadfully stupid of me ! — of course I ought to, but 
my memory is so treacherous sometimes ! 

John Paul. (With a cool smile) I'll give you 
three guesses. 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Earnestly) No, no, you must 
just be charming and tell me right out. 

John Paul. As you prefer. (Quietly) I am 
John Paul Bart. 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Absolutely at a loss, but with a 
desperate effort to appear properly intelligent) Oh! 
Not really ! Well, this is delight f id! Of course I've 
heard of you so often — and wanted to meet you, 
too — (Wheating enters up l. c.) but somehow or 
other 

Wheating.. Announces. Music stops) Mr. 
Abraham Nathan ! (John Paul rises and moves 
down R. Nathan enters l. c. and comes down) 

Mrs. Dupuy. Why, Abraham Nathan, it's you! 
(Extends her hand) 

Nathan. (Moves over to her and takes her 
hand) Kitty Dupuy! This is most unexpected and 
most delightful ! (Kisses her hand) 



^:¥^E^TAILOR-MADE MAN 49 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Makinc/ room for him on the 
settee) Do sit down. (Nathan sits l. of her) 
But they said you weren't coming. 

Nathan. I expected to be kept until midnight 
by my directors, but we finally adjourned until the 
morning. 

Mrs. Dupuy. It isn't another strike? 

Nathan. Not yet. At least not when I left. 

Mrs. Dupuy. You poor dear soul. 

Nathan. I appreciate the kind words, Kitty. 
One gets so little but abuse these days. 

John Paul. (Quietly) Yet abuse is on€ ex- 
pression of envy. 

- Nathan. {Surprised at the interruption) I beg 
your pardon ! 

John Paul. And I beg yours, Mr. Nathan. 
You don't seem to know me. 

Nathan. {Coolly) Sorry, but I meet so many. 
(Turns to Mrs. Dupuy) You see, Kitty, I 

John Paul. {Interrupting) Then you'll not be 
offended if I remind you of a little incident that 
occurred when you were leaving the Reviewing stand 
with the Governor on the day of the Preparedness 
Parade. A crack-brained laborer threw a stone at 
your head. Do you recall ? 

Nathan. (Graciously, as he rises and crosses 
to John Paul) To be sure I recall. A gentleman 
standing near me caught the stone in his silk hat. 

John Paul. (With an air of extreme modesty; 
Mrs. Dupuy rises) It was only a slight service, I 
know, but you were so good as to insist that the, 
gentleman in question should not allow you to for- 
get. 

Mrs. Dupuy. (With enthusiasm) Oh, and now 
you meet again! (Nathan turns and looks at her, 
then hack at Bart) Oh, how perfectly thrilling! 
(Goes up L. c.) 

Nathan. Why, this is indeed a fortunate meet- 



A 

50 -^^g=TAILOR-MADE MAN 

ing! {Shakes hands zvith Bart) Young man, I 
firmly believe you saved my life. 

(Mrs. Dupuy goes behind piano to R. c.) 

John Paul. {Seeming quite overwhelmed) Oh 
no, I really can't let you sav that ! {Drops down r. 
a step) I'm quite sure I didn't save your life. 

Mrs. Dupuy. {Comes dozvn between the tzvo 
w.en) Did you ever hear of such modesty. 

Nathan. I'm sorry I forgot to keeo in touch 
with you. You must forgive me. My life is such 
a busy one. Did you give me your name? 

{The Stanlaws, followed by Wheating enter from 

stairs. ) 

John Paul. I did not. 

Mrs. Dupuy. Then let me introduce you, Abra- 
ham, I want to present to you Mr. John Paul Bart. 

Nathan. I am very glad to see you again, Mr. 
Bart. 

Stanlaw. (Coming dozvn stairs, foUozved by 
Mrs. Stanlaw) There he is! {Comes dozvn l. 
Mrs. Stanlaw following; Wheating exits l. c.) 

Nathan. Good evening, Stanlaw. 

Stanlaw. How are you, Nathan? 

Mrs. Stanlaw. {Comes to l. of Nathan and 
shakes hands) Wheating just brought us word. I 
feel excessively mortified not to have been here to 
receive you. 

(CoRiNNE, Westlake, Fleming, Crane and Car- 
roll enter r. cross and exit up the stairs. Mrs. 
Dupuy moves up r. crosses to stairs and talks 
to Westlake before he exits, then comes down- 
stage L. John Paul has turned r. as the Stan- 
laws enter.) 



7\ 

-^^E^TAILOR-MADE MAN 51 

Nathan. Don't mention it, Mrs. Stanlaw. The 
fault was mine, wholly. {Crosses to Stanlaw l. 
Mrs. Stanlaw moving to r. c.) Stanlaw, we 
missed you at the Directors' meeting this evening. 

Stanlaw. Well, you see how it was, Nathan. I 
was tied up with this darned old reception. 

Nathan. You're exonerated. But don't fail us 
to-morrow ; we face a crisis. {Turns to Mrs. Stan- 
law ; Stanlaw joins Mrs. Dupuy) You will for- 
give me, Mrs. Stanlaw, if I make my visit a brief 
one? 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Why, of course! 

Nathan. There's Mr. Bart waiting to say good 
evening to you. {Turns up-stage and joins Stan- 
law and Mrs. Dupuy) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. {To John Paul a little 
puszled) Good evening. 

John Paul. Good evening, Mrs. Stanlaw. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. The name was — ? 

John Paul. Bart. John Paul Bart. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Bart? Odd! I don't seem 
to remember 

John Paul. {Quickly) I must offer my apolo- 
gies, Mrs. Stanlaw, for coming without an invita- 
tion 

Mrs. Stanlaw. {Interrupting) Say no more 
about it. You're a friend of President Nathan? 

John Paul. Our friendship is recent, but al- 
ready it's quite the biggest thing in my life. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. I love to hear you say that. 

Mrs. Dupuy. {Going up l. c. to stairs, followed 
by Nathan and Stanlaw) Mr. Stanlaw is go- 
ing to show us all over the new house. {To Mrs. 
Stanlaw) You'll come too, dear? 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Not this time, Kitty. 

Mrs. Dupuy. {Laughs meaningly) Oh, I un- 
derstand ! {Bozvs to John Paul) Mr. Bart. 



4 

52 THE TAILOR-MADE MAN 

{Contimics up the stairs) Come, Abraham. (Na- 
than foUozvs her) 

Stanlaw. (Follozving Nathan) Of course, 
everything is very very simple, but that is our ideal 
of a home. (The three exit up the stairs, talking) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. {As she sits on l. end of settee) 
Sit down, Mr. Bart. 

ToHN Paul. (Sittinn r. of her) A very won- 
derful reception, Mrs. Stanlaw. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Thank you. (Slight pause) 
Are you associated with Mr. Nathan in a business 
way ? 

John Paul. Not yet, but I expect to be. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. How interesting. 

John Paul. This is confidential. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Oh, of course. (Slight pause) 
And do you live in our neighborhood, Mr. Bart? 

John Paul. Singular thing about that ! I quitted 
my old lodgings this very afternoon. They had 
become impossible. I shall try club life for a while. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Are you much of a club man? 

John Paul. I've little use for clubs. There's 
only one club where I really drop in often — the 
Knickerbocker. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (Impressed) The Knicker- 
bocker ! Oh ! Mr. Stanlaw has many acquaintances 
at the Knickerbocker. I wonder what friends we 
have in common. 

John Paul. (As though he had known her all 
his life) Of course there's Kitty Dupuy. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (Laughs) Poor Kitty ! (Bart 
joins in the laugh, pretending to see the joke) And 
who else? 

John Paul. Let me see. (Slight pause) Do you 
know Mr. Huber? 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (Trying to recall the name) 
Huber? Huber? No. 



A 



^AILOR-MADE MAN 53 



John Paul. Too bad! {Sarcastically) Nice 
fellow, Huber ! 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Tell me about him. 

John Paul. Between ourselves, Mrs. Stanlaw, 
Pve never known anyone with Mr. Huberts skill at 
measuring men. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. A rare gift, Mr. Bart. I con- 
stantly impress the importance of it on Corinne. 

John Paul. Ah! Corinne! 

Mrs. Stanlaw. You've met her? 

John Paul. Not yet; but I'm most anxious to 
do so. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. And Pm most anxious that you 
should. There are too many — (Corrine and the 
four boys start down the stairs^ singing) frivolous 
young men dancing attendance on her merely be- 
cause she happens to be an heiress. That is one of 
the problems we mothers have to face. (Corrine 
and the boys come to the piano. Crane moves the 
piano bench. Corrine sits at the piano. Mrs. 
Stanlaw rises and goes r. John Paul moves to 
L. Corrine ts playing the piano, the boys grouped 
above her. Westlake is l. of the piano. All are 
talking ad lib. Mrs. Stanlaw r.) Corinne, dear! 
Corinne ! 

Corinne. Yes, Mother? (Rises and drops 
slightly down-stage R.) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. I want you to meet Mr. John 
Paul Bart. Mr. Bart, my daughter Corinne. 

John Paul. Miss Stanlaw, this is a moment I 
have long anticipated. 

Corinne. (Coolly) Thank you. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. We were just talking about you 
when you came in. Mr. Bart is one of President 
Nathan's friends. 

Corinne. (Interested) Oh! 

(The boys exchange glances.) 



A 



54 TflS T AILOR-MADE MAN 

John Paul. You were just going to play some- 
thiiify, Miss Stamaw. May I listen too? 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Yes, do play something for Mr. 
Bart, dear. {To John Paul as Corinne sits at the 
piano) Corinne studied for two years with 
Petroskowski. 

John Paul. DeHghtful ! {Doing the best he 
can) Petro-skowski. 

Westlake. Now do get it right, Corinne. 

Carroll. Oh, keep quiet, Bobby ! 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Oh, and Mr. Bart, let me intro- 
duce Mr. Crane, Mr. Carroll, Mr. Fleming and Mr. 
Westlake. 

{The boys bozv coolly to John Paul.) 

Westlake. {With a cnrt nod) How do you 
do. 

John Paul. {Bozving very amiably to the boys) 
Charmed ! Oh, Mrs. Stanlaw, didn't you say you 
were going to ask these gentlemen to assist you in 
the dining room? 

{The four boys glare at him.) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. {Quick to take the hint) Oh! 
Why, to be sure, Mr. Bart. {Goes up to the boys, 
laughing) Come boys, I want you to help me with 
the punch bowl, in the dining room. Now run along ! 
Come, Howard, Dick! {Two boys start up r. c, 
a third following) And, Bobby, you too. Run 
along ! 

Westlake. {As he goes up r. c.) I don't un- 
derstand. 

Carroll. {Going in front of him, and laughing) 
Good little boys don't ask questions ; they do as 
they're told. {Exits up r. c. zvith Westlake) 

Corinne. {Rises and follows Mrs. Stanlaw, 



TAILOR-MADE MAN 55 

who has started to go off r.) But, mother — ! 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (Standing on step) Corinne ! 
It's all right ! 

CoRRiNE. What in the world are you thinking 
of! 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (Szveetly, but firmly) Dearie! 
(Speaks under her breath, and exits R. Corrine 
stands looking after her) 

John Paul. (l. of piano) You really mustn't 
expect any" sympathy from me, Miss Stanlaw, for 
the fact is I was pining for a chance to have a little 
visit with you a tete a tete. (Corrine tosses her 
head, and opens her fan) Ah! Miss Stanlaw, 
don't move ! With your head at just that angle you 
are perfect ! A Chase ! 

Corinne. (Amused; she crosses to the piano) 
Do you make a specialty of pretty speeches? 

John Paul. (Leaning across the piano) I on^y 
Avish I did, for then I might find one that would 
fit you. 

Corinne. Oh, I see. I'm hard to fit. (Sits at 
the piano) 

John Paul. A beautiful picture should be 
framed with care. 

Corinne. You don't waste any time, do you? 

John Paul. I've no time to waste. 

Corinne. Meaning? 

John Paul. Meaning that with me it's now — or 
never. 

Corinne. Oh, indeed ! 

John Paul. Opportunity knocks once on every 
man's door. To-night it knocked on mine. 

Corinne. (Laughing) I don't know just what 
you're talking about, but I'm listening. 

John Paul. At least I feel flattered by your in- 
terest. 

Corinne. Do you? Well, I didn't say I was 
interested. 



A 

56 -4se:tailor-made man 

ToTiN Paul. Ah, but you will be. 

CoRiNNE. My, how sure of ourselves we are ! 

John Paul. Do play something, Miss Stanlaw. 
(CoRiNNE plavs) What a beautiful melody! 

CoRiNNE. Do you mean it? 

John Paul. I do, really. By what composer? 
Petro-skowski, isn't it? 

CoRiNNE. Oh, you flatter me, Mr. Bart. It's just 
a little something of my own. (Stops playing and 
looks up at him) Pretty? 

John Paul. You are, indeed ! 

CoRiNNE. (Laughing as she resumes playing) 
I mean— the melody. 

John Paul. The most beautiful I ever heard. 

CoRiNNE. (Stops playing) You're a musician? 

John Paul. I wish I were ; I answer that glori- 
ous melody with another. 

Corinne. I see! You're a poet 

John Paul. What makes you say that? 

(Mrs. Dupuy and Bessie are seen coming down 

the stairs.) 

Corinne. Well, you're some sort of a genius ; 
anyone can see that very plainly. 

John Paul. Not anyone. It takes a genius to 
understand. 

Corinne. Oh, thank you ! (Resumes playing) 

Mrs. Dupuy. (At foot of stairs) Oh, Mr. Bart I 
So sorry to interrupt ! (John Paul crosses up- 
stage and zvorks down r. c.) Corinne, just a mo- 
ment, if you don't mind, dear. (Comes down l. 
c. with Bessie r. of her) Bessie love, I want you 
to meet Mr. John Paul Bart. 

Bessie. (Coming to c. greatly impressed) Oh! 

Mrs. Dupuy. Mr. Bart, my little Bessie. 

(Bessie curtsies.) 



A 

^¥S©=TAILOR-MADE MAN 57 

John Paul. Miss Dupuy, this is a moment I 
have long anticipated. 

(CoRiNNE plays quietly.) 

Mrs. Dupuy. I want you and Bessie to be friends. 

(CoRiNNE stops playing.) 

John Paul. In just that attitude, Miss Bessie 
— don't move ! — you are perfect ! A Greuze ! 

(CoRTNNE resumes playing.) 

Mrs. Dupuy. Tell Mr. Bart you have a one-step 
open on your card if he cares to dance. 

Bessie. {Parrot-like) I have a one-step open 
on my card to dance, Mr. Bart. 

John Paul. I should be delighted, but Miss 
Stanlaw has just promised me the next one-step. 

(CoRiNNE stops playing and stares at him.) 

Mrs. Dupuy. Oh, I see. {Looks knowingly at 
CoRiNNE and Bart) Well, then perhaps some other 
time. 

Bessie. Yes, perhaps some other time. 

John Paul. Yes, perhaps some other time. 

Mrs. Dupuy. Tell Mr. Bart you're pleased to 
have met him. 

Bessie. Fni pleased to have met you. 

Mrs. Dupuy. {Prompting her) " Mr. Bart." 

Bessie. Mr. Bart. 

John Paul. The pleasure is all mine, Miss Du- 
puy. I consider it a privilege, an honor, to have 
made the acquaintance of so exquisite, so fascinat- 
ing a creature as you appear to be. 



4 

58 -^TfflE TAILOR-MADE MAN 

(CoRRiNE starts playing.) 

Besste. {Curtsies) Thank you. 

Mrs. Dupuy. Run alons:, Bessie love. 

Bessie. Yes, Mama. {Exits up r. c.) 

Mrs. Dupuy. {To Bart, as she moves up l. c. 
and above the piano) She is unusual, isn't she? 

John Paul. {As he goes l.) Decidedly. 

Mrs. Dupuy. {To Corinne, as she moves to r. 
of piano) So sorry to have interrupted! 

Corinne. {Szveetly) Oh, don't mention it! 

Mrs. Dupuy. I won't — not to a soul ! {Laughs 
maliciously) I understand! {Exits r. c. laughing. 
Corinne tttrns and glares after her) 

John Paul. {As Mrs. Dupuy exits, he goes 
aboj^e the piano and stands leaning on l. end of it) 
Nice girl, Kitty. 

{Music starts.) 

Corinne. {Rises and goes to r. of him) Why 
did you tell her we were going to have the next 
one-step together? 

John Paul. Well, aren't we? 

Corinne. It's the first I've heard of it. 

John Paul. Then coming as a surprise you'll 
probably enjoy it all the more. 

Corinne. {Laughs) You are extraordinary! 

John Paul. I admit it. 

Corinne. {Amused; leaning on the piano) Who 
are you, anyway. 

John Paul. I'm John Paul Bart. 

Corinne. And who is John Paul Bart? 

John Paul. I am. 

Corinne. {Amused) I see ! You're a man of 
mystery, 

John Paul. No ; I'm a man of Destiny. 

Corinne. Oh, a man of Destiny ! And do you 



'AILOR-IvIADE MAN 59 

aspire to do great things like Napoleon? 

John Paul. No ; but to do the things Napoleon 
left undone. 

CoRiNNE. I see! (Studies him for a moment) 
Do you really want the next one-step with me? 

John Paul. I thought it was all arranged. 

CoRiNNE. It is — with another partner. Fll run 
and see if I can beg off. Shall I ? 

John Paul. Will you? 

CoRiNNE. I will. {Laughs and moves R. c. then 
turns) Fil be right back. 

John Paul. I'll be right here. (Corrine exits 
up-stage r.) 

(J0HN Paul goes r., smiling complacently ; arrang- 
ing his cuffs and tie. Peter enters from up l. 
c. carrying a tray of champagne. He hesitates 
and looks curiously at John Paul's back. 
John Paul, unconscious of Peter's presence, 
comes dozvn r. c. Peter comes down in front 
of settee, staring at John Paul. The latter, 
not noticing Peter, comes to c. He looks up, 
sees Peter, gives a start and looks around as 
though to bolt a slight pause, then he airily takes 
a glass of champagne from the tray, hesitates, 
smiles in a sickly, nervous way, then boldly 
takes a sip, and holds the glass up to the light.) 

Peter. What the hell are you doing here ! 

John Paul. Fm a guest of the Stanlaws. {Takes 
another sip) 

Peter. You can't get away with it as easy as 
all that, Johnny Paul. I want some explanations. 

John Paul. Want some what? 

Peter. Where'd you get them clothes? {Looks 
closely at John Paul's clothes) Why those are 
Mr. Jellicot's clothes I was workin' on this after- 
noon ! And you mean to tell me — (Bart takes an- 



A 



60 ^im TAILOR-MADE MAN 

other sip) Oh. Lord, that's ,s:ood ! (Bart nods, 
weaninq the wine) You mean to tell me you're a 
p'u^st here ! 

Jot-in Paul. Ask anyone. 

Peter. Know who you are, do they ? 

John Paul. I have never been ashamed of my 
name. 

Peter. And you told them you was a tailor's 
hand ? 

John Paul. I saw no reason to insist on non- 
essentials. 

Peter. Now, look here. Johnny Paul ! I don't 
understand nothin' about this, but one thing I do 
know well and good: Fve got you right under my 
heel like a worm on the sidewalk, and if I want 
to squash ye, I can! (Grinds his heel) 

John Paul. If I were in your place it seems 
to me I'd look about for some more lasting, more 
lucrative way of settling our account. 

Peter. As what, for instance ? 

John Paul. You happen to be in possession of 
a secret. That secret is of no value if you tell it. 
On the other hand, it might be of considerable value 
if you refrain from telling it. (Takes a sip of 
champagne) You know, I'd no idea champagne 
tasted like that. (Crosses to c. Peter giving way) 

Peter. (Sullenly) So you th.nk I'm a man that 
can be bought ofiP, do you? 

John Paul. (As he sits c.) Bigger men than 
you are bought oiif every day in the year. 

Peter, (r. of settee) If I was goin' to take 
money — which I don't think I am — I wouldn't take 
a cent less than — fifty dollars. 

John Paul. (Staggeed) Fifty dollars! 

Peter. Yes, and not a cent less. 

John Paul. (Coolly) It's yours. 

Peter. x\re ye tellin' me you've got hfty dollars 
in your pocket ! 



A 



■THE T AILOR-MADE MAN 6i 

John Paul. I'm not telling you anything, but if 
you'll come around again in a little while I'll have it 
for you. 

Peter. How soon? 

John Paul. You must allow me a reasonable 
length of time. 

(Mrs. Stanlaw and Jellicot enter up r.) 

Peter. Very well! If ye have the money for 
me the next time I come around with the drinks, 
well and good! But if not — ! 

(Mrs. Stanlaw and Jellicot come down a step. 
Music stops.) 

John Paul. {Quickly as he sees Mrs. Stanlaw 
and Jellicot) I understand 3^ou. (Rises, puts His 
empty glass on the tray) The champagne is ex- 
quisite, Mrs. Stanlaw ; the best I ever tasted. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (Is now r. c.) How charming 
of you! (Jellicot is r. of her) 

Peter. (Offering the tray to Mrs. Stanlaw) 
Drink, lady? 

(John Paul moves over to l.) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (Greatly vexed) Oh, go away! 
(Peter goes slozvly up on steps; Mrs. Stanlaw 
goes to c.) Oh, Mr. Bart, I want you to meet 
our friend, Mr. Theodore Jellicot. (John Paul 
and Jellicot bow) 

Peter. (Has been looking back at Jellicot as 
he goes r.) Oh, Lord! (Exits r. quickly) The 
three on stage look at him) 

Jellicot. (As John Paul looks at him) He's 
looking at these clothes. They're borrowed, you 
know. 

Mrs. Stanlaw\ The strangest thing, Mr. Bart ! 



6.2 1£i±fcTAILOR-MADE MAN 

The tailor ran away with his evening clothes. 
{Laughs) 

John Paul. {Laughing) Well, well, well. 

Jelltcot. {Over to John Paul) Mrs. Stan- 
law tells me you're a great friend of Mr. Nathan's. 
Won't you introduce me to him? I've something 
very important I want to say to him. 

John Paul. I don't think Mr. Nathan wished 
any more introductions this evening. 

Jellicot. {To Mrs. Stanlaw) What's that? 

Mrs. Stanlaw. I suppose Mr. Bart knows. 
Now if you gentlemen will excuse me ? 

Jellicot. Of course. 

John Paul. Certainly. 

(Mrs. Stanlaw exits up r. c.) 

Jellicot. I say, ]\Ir. Bart, can't you possibly 
arrange this introduction? 

John Paul. Fd like to, but Abe is really tired 
out to-night. {Sits R. of table l.) 

Jellicot. {hnpressed) Abe! 

John Paul. You know we're being threatened 
with another strike. 

Jellicot. Another strike in the Oceanic ship- 
yards ? 

John Paul. Pm sorry to have to say so. 

Jellicot. I say, but look here, Mr. Bart, this 
meeting Pm after is in a little class all by itself, so 
to speak, because, you see I flatter myself I figured 
rather handsomely in a little incident he'll be glad 
to have recalled to his mind. 

John Paul. Yes? 

Jellicot. It was on the day of the Preparedness 
Parade. 

John Paul. {Laughs) Oh, surely, Mr, Jelli- 
cot, you're not going to get off that old one about 
catching the stone in the silk hat ! 



A 



a^AILOR-MADE MAN 63 



Jellicot. Well, what if I was now! 

John. Man alive, that story has been used 
till it's used up. 

Jellicot. {Bewildered) Used! What do you 
mean by used? 

John Paul. That story was told to Mr. Nathan 
in my own presence. 

Jellicot. It was ! By whom ! 

JopiN Paul. I am not at liberty to tell you that. 

Jellicot. But I tell you it was I caught that 
stone ! 

John Paul. (Rises) My dear chap, don't get 
excited. I've no doubt it was you, but just look at 
it from a common sense angle. How can you ex- 
pect Mr. Nathan to take your word for it when he 
has already heard the same story from another 
man — and a very charming man, too. 

Jellicot. But I tell you the man is an imposter ! 

John Paul. I agree with you ! I agree with 
you ! But don't you see ? Isn't it plain that it would 
be much wiser to leave the whole matter in my 
hands ? 

(Peter enters up r. c. Crosses upstage and comes 
down L, c.) 

Jellicot. In your hands ! Why, will you help 
me? 

John Paul. That's what I'm proposing to do. 

Jellicot. {Shaking hands with Bart) Why, 
that's terrifically jolly of you, old man! Thanks, a 
thousand times ! 

Peter. {Offering the tray; standing between the 
t7V0 men) Drinks, gents? 

Jellicot. {Taking a glass from the tray) 
Thanks. {Moves slightly r.) 

Peter. {As he offers the tray to Bart) Well? 

John Paul. {Taking a glass from the tray) 
In ten minutes. (Jellicot turns and looks at him 



A 

64 XXIE TAILOR-MADE MAN 

enquiringly) I'll want another drink in ten minutes. 

Jelltcot. I want one every ten minutes. (Peter 
goes itp L. c. looking hack at Jellicot, who appears 
most uncomfortable. Peter turns at exit l. c. and 
with a chuckle, goes off. Jellicot arranges his 
clothes; a slight pause — raises his glass) Well, 
success. 

John Paul. Yes; so far. 

Jellicot. (Drinks and puts the empty glass on 
the piano) I say, do you really think you can swing 
it for me? 

John Paul. (Thoughtfully, as he puts his glass 
on table l. and crosses to r. his hands behind his 
back) I'll try and speak about you at supper to- 
night. 

Jellicot. (Follows John imitating his walk) 
You're going to have supper with Nathan ! 

John Paul. (Placing his hands on his hip; Jel- 
licot imitating) I was planning to take him out 
with me, yes. (Slapping his pockets) Oh, but by 
Jove ! Well, well, well ! 

Jellicot. Why, what's wrong? 

John. Oh, nothing ! I'll take him out some other 
evening. 

Jellicot. Oh, I say now, what's wrong? 

John Paul. Would you believe it ! I actually 
came off to-night without a cent of money in my 
pockets! (Laughs) 

Jellicot. You did? Now that's really comical, 
isn't it? Do you know I did the very same thing 
myself. (Laughs) 

John Paul. Oh! 

Jellicot. I was so upset about that beastly tailor, 
you know. That's the sort I am. You see, things 
knock me bing! so to speak, and digging down in 
my pockets I found there wasn't a red. Say, doesn't 
it give you a damn silly feeling? 

John Paul. (Faintly) Yes, it does. 



A 



TAILOR-MADE MAN 65 

Jellicot. And the worst of it is ; if I was only 
in my own clothes instead of these borrowed ones, 
I wou'd be terrifically pleased to oblige you, old 
chap. You may not believe it, but in that dress suit 
the tailor ran away with, I had two fifty dollar bills 
stowed away in this little thingamajig of a fob 
pocket. 

John Paul. Where? 

(Music starts piano.) 

Jellicot. This little thingamajig here. 

John Paul. (Finds the money in his fob pocket) 
You know that's a most remarkable coincidence ! 

Jellicot. What's that? 

John Paul. Why, you've just reminded me. I 
had all I need in my own fob pocket. Two fifty 
dollar bills. (Shozt^s the tzvo bills) 

Jellicot. Really ! 

John Paul. If you hadn't mentioned the fact 
I'd never have thought of looking here. 

Jellicot. Then you keep your money in the same 
pocket I keep mine. (Laughs) 

John Paul. (Laughing) Yes, exactly; in the 
very same pocket! (Goes l.) 

Jellicot. (Follows Bart l.) By Jove. 
(Corinne enters quickly from r.) That's a coinci- 
dence ! You know it wouldn't happen twice in a 
lifetime. 

John Paul. No ; but once is a great help. (Both 
are laughing heartily) 

Corinne. (Coming down r. c.) Oh, Teddy, 
Mrs. Fitzmorris was just asking for you. 

Jellicot. Oh, Lord yes, I forgot ! She promised 
to one-step with me. (Turns to Bart; Corinne 
goes to piano) You won't let it slip your mind about 
taking up that matter with Mr. Nathan, will you, 
old boy? 




66 "¥$J-grT AILOR-MADE MAN 



John Paul. At the very first opportunity. 

Jellicot. The ambition of my life is to become 
a member of the Ionian Yacht club, and Nathan's 
the only one who can fix it. 

John Paul. Leave it to me and I'll bet you — 
a suit of clothes — you go through. 

Jellicot. A suit of clothes? You're on! (Shakes 
hands with Bart) 

John Paul. Oh, yes, they're on ! — I mean, you're 
on! 

Jellicot. (To Corinne as he goes in front of 
her to R.) Where's Mrs. Fitzmorris? In the ball 
room ? 

CoRiNNE. Yes ; she's looking for you. 

Jellicot. I'll find her. By-bye! (Exits r.) 

Corinne. (Turns to Bart) Well, it's fixed. 
I got rid of him. 

John Paul. Who? 

Corinne. My partner. 

John Paul. Oh yes, of course ! I'd forgotten. 

Corinne. You had! 

John Paul. No, no, I mean I thought yoit had. 
(Nathan, Mrs. Dupuy, Stanlaw and Bessie 
start. do7vn-stairs) Of course ! How silly of me ! 
(Offers her his arm; they start r.) Come along. 

Mrs. Dupuy. (As the group enters from stairs) 
Really, Abraham, I think it's quite too horrid of 
you to go so soon. 

(John Paul and Corinne stop. Stanlaw is above 

piano.) 

Stanlaw. (r. of Nathan) That's what I say. 
Why don't you stay a while and enjoy yourself? 
You work too darned hard, that's what's the mat- 
ter with you, Nathan. 



(Bessie goes down l.) 



A 



TAILOR-MADE MAN 67 



CoRiNNE. {Moves slightly toward Nathan) 
Must you really go, Mr. Nathan? 

(Mrs. Dupuy drops down l. c.) 

Nathan. I must. I'm sorry. Being a servant 
of the public is no joke these days; nothing but 
trouble. {Comes down l. of piano. Bessie sits l. 
of table L. Mrs. Dupuy is r. of the table) 

John Paul, (r.) That is your own fault, sir. 

Nathan. {Surprised) What! 

Mrs. Dupuy. Why, it's Mr. Bart ! 

John Paul. {Moving to c.) Fully half the 
trouble could be obviated were it not for your 
notorious Nathan policy of treating the public with 
silence. 

Nathan. Indeed ! 

John Paul. The American public is the most 
good-natured in the world. It will forgive you for 
strangling your grandmother, but it will not forgive 
you for being silent about it. If you want to live — 
talk. 

Nathan. {Moves down to l. of Bart) I did 
not realize you were a sociologist as well as a life 
preserver. 

John Paul. I am neither. I am a Scientific 
Specialist in success. 

Mrs. Dupuy. Listen, Bessie. 

John Paul. And I have discovered that your 
American Oceanic Shipbuilding corporation em- 
bodies every essential of success save one-^-it ig- 
nores the public. 

Nathan. Yes, and with reason. The public 
is not disposed to accept those principles of man- 
agement for which our company stands. 

John Paul. Five years ago it would not have 
accepted them, but to-day the public is tired of its 
old idols. It is eager to listen to a new gospel. In 



A 



68 ^:g^^g=TAILOR-MADE MAN 

its heart it has never ceased to worship wealth, au- 
thority, power. Very well, let us preach the Rights 
of Property. Let us boldly declare that wealth is 
the basis and symbol of that power which keeps 
the wheels of the social organism functionally recip- 
rocal. 

{Music stops. Mrs. Stanlaw and Westlake en- 
ter from R. CoRiNNE moves down staae R. 
Westlake above her. Corinne siis. Mrs. 
Stanlaw sits on piano bench. Two girls and 
a boy enter and stand on stairs.) 

Nathan. {With a cool surprise) Functionally 
what ? 

John Paul. Reciprocal. Look about you, my 
friends ! The agitators are appealing to the blind 
and insensate ambition of the masses — (Jellicot 
enters r. ayid comes dozvn above Westlake) caring 
nothing for consequences, ready to inaugurate a 
reign of terror. And shall we, my friends, we who 
are the natural protectors and guardians of the so- 
cial order, shall we submit ? Are we to abandon the 
ship to the pirates of Society? Fellow citizens, you 
fondly imagine you are living in a Democracy, but 
I tell you that unless we rally to the defense of our 
ancient prerogatives, that Democracy will soon be 
swallowed up by a Proletariarchy ! 

(Mrs. Fitzmorris enters r, and crosses to above 

table L.) 

Mrs. Dupuy. A what ! 

John Paul. {Crossing to c. Nathan going r.) 
A Proletariarchy. {From this time on, the Guests 
enter from r. at intervals of ten seconds singly and 
in groups. They enter quickly and show interest 
in John Paul's words, grouping up r. c. and up 



- TtTTTT AI 



LOR-MADE Mx\N 69 



L. c. Except when looking at each other their eyes 
must never leave John Paul) 

Mrs. Dupuy. Oh, how terrible. {Sits R. of ta- 
ble j.,) 

Nathan. {Amused) Can you keep that up in- 
definitely ? 

(FiTZMORRis enters up R. c. and cross to l.) 

John Paul. Yes. 

Mrs. Dupuy. It's wonderful! Don't you think 
so, Abraham? 

Nathan. {Amused) I do — wonderful cocka- 
doodlum. 

{A group of girls and boys enter r. and stand in 
arches. Rowlands enters and stands on stairs.) 

John Paul. {Blandly) As to that, sir, I quite 
agree with you. 

Nathan. You agree with me ! {Laughs) Well, 
well, well ! 

John Paul. But the most wonderful thing about 
it all is, it'll go! It'll zvork! If II do it for you! 
Give them a catchword ; you win attention. Atten- 
tion begets interest ; interest begets confidence ; con- 
fidence means an end to hostility. Once you have 
won the public you have won your case. It's the 
public that breaks you; it's the public that makes 
you. {With a dramatic outburst as he turns and 
faces the people on the stage) Attention there, all 
you who have homes and who love them ! Property 
is being assaulted before your very eyes ! Our sa- 
cred rights are in jeopardy! Let us rally to their 
defense ! Who will carry our standard ? Where 
shall we look for a champion ? Nathan ! Nathan ! 
Hurrah! Rub-a-dub-dub! Rub-a-dub-dub! (Peter 
enters l. c. and comes to l. of piano, listening) 



70 THE TAILOR-MADE MAN 

What do you say, sir? Is there something in it? 
Does it bite ? Has it got the ring ? Will it go ? Am 
I right, sir? Am I right? 

Nathan. (Amused, yet genuinely interested) 
I half believe you are. 

John Paul. Good! Very good! Then the 
next thing is: what are we going to do about it? 
Here am I, full to the eyes with ideas the world 
is hungry to gulp down. And here you are, sir, 
confronting a situation wherein these ideas would 
have an incalculable dynamic value. I need you ; 
you need me. Then there must certainly be some 
way in which we can make connections. 

Nathan. You'll be telling me next that you 
have a plan fully formulated. 

John Paul. No, no, one step at a time. My plan 
goes no further than the next step. We must talk 
things over. You may not approve of me. I may 
not approve of you. Will you do me the honor 
to have supper with me to-night at my hotel? 

(Music starts piano. A servant comes from up r. 
and stands in opening, carrying a tray of 
drinks.) 

Nathan. To-night ? 
John Paul. To-night. 

Nathan. (Crossing to r. of Bart) Why, I will 
be very glad to, Mr. Bart. 

(Jellicot drops down r.) 

John Paul. I thank you. Just one thing more, 
Mr. Nathan. May I present Mr. Theodore Jellicot 
— (Jellicot fidgets nervously with his suit) a gen- 
tleman who is very desirous of becoming a member 
of the Ionian Yacht Club? Will you kindly see to 
it that he is highly recommended to the Member- 



THE TAILOR-MADE MAN 71 

ship Committee? (Nathan turits and looks at 
Jelltcot, who is fidgeting nervously, then turns 
a surprised look on Bart) As a favor to me. 

Nathan. As a favor to you? Well, it's a little 
unusual, but I'll do it. 

(The guests show satisfaction.) 

Jellicot. (Grabs Nathan's hand and shakes 
heartily) Thanks, a thousand times! 

Nathan. Thank your sponsor, Mr. Bart. 

John Paul. He's already done that. 

Jeulicot. You win the bet, Mr. Bart ; the suit's 
on me. 

John Paul. Oh, no don't say that! 

Nathan. (Turns and bozvs to Mrs. Stanlaw, 
who rises) This has been a highly successful eve- 
ning, Mrs. Stanlaw, highly successful. 

John Paul. (Bowing to Mrs. Stanlaw) Yes, 
this has been a highly successful evening; highly 
successful evening. (Calls to Peter) Boy! (To 
Nathan, as Peter places tray on the piano and 
comes down to l. of Bart) I had a talk with this 
young man this evening. I find he is ambitious. 
I believe in ambition and I promised to help him. 
(Hands Peter one of the fifty dollar bills) Here 
is a trifle of money for you, my boy. Lay it by. 
(Music Forte, ring Curtain. Turns and takes 
Nathan's arm) Mr. Nathan, I am at our ser- 
vice. (The two stroll upstage r. and across to l. c. 
opening. All on stage turn and watch them exit. 
Hold picture until Nathan and John Paul have 
reached l. c. opening. Stop music as the curtain 
falls) 

ACT III 

Scene: The offices of the American Oceanic 
Shipbuilding Corporation, in the shipping dis- 
trict belozv Wall Street; a handsome, impres- 



72 THE TAILOR-MADE MAN 

sive apartment furnished with dignity. 
, Across the upper l. corner is a large hay win- 

dozv zvhich affords a view of the roofs of office 
buildings and of the blue harbor beyond. 

Entrances down r., down l. and c. The door 
L. communicates with Nathan's private 
offices. John Paul's desk is l. c. Up r., 
against the ivall, is a small desk for Dr. Sonn- 
TAG. A filing cabinet is l. of c. door. On 
Bart's desk is a telephone, also a buzzer. 
Rowlands' hat is on the cabinet. 

The time is late afternoon, nine months after 
the preceding act. 

Discovered: John Paul is l. c. in front of his 
desk, listening zvith amused attention to Mrs. 
DuPUY, seated r. c. nursing a Pomeranian, who 
is just concluding her visit. 

Bessie is seated down-stage r. Miss 
Shayne, the typist, is at filing cabinet c. 

Dr. Sonntag is seated at his desk up R. 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Her voice is heard as the curtain 
rises). And now that my errand is done — (Rises; 
Bessie rises and opens r. door) I really must not 
keep you another minute, ' such a frightfully busy 
man as you are. Good-bye, Mr. Bart. Good-bye, 
Mr. Rowlands. (Shakes hands with Bart, who has 
moved to her) Come, Bessie love, we'll go now. 
Good-bye ! (Starts r. c., stops and returns) Oh, 
but while I think of it, my dear Mr. Bart ; there was 
just one more thing. If you could give me that 
little series of intimate afternoon talks ! Of 
course, I'll have only just the right people : the 
Cortelyears, the Fitzmorrises, the Stanlaws — you 
know, people one is glad to have at one's home. 

John Paul. To be sure ! 

Mrs. Dupuy. Good-bye. (To Bessie, as they 



THE TAILOR-MADE MAN 7% 

<sUirt R. John Paul following them) Now dear, 
this time we really must — {Turns to Bart; Bessie 
closes door and goes to R. of her) Oh, and for sub- 
jects, that is for you to decide. Anything you 
fancied. You're always so wonderful and inspiring 
when you talk. But, of course, being Lent and all, 
if you could give it just a touch of Uplift? 

John Paul. {Politely impatient) Uplift — I 
understand. 

Mrs. Dupuy. Still, one doesn't want too much 
uplift, does one? (Bart laughs, amused) I mean, 
not so much as to be made uncomfortable. 

John Paul. Oh, certainly not! {Goes behind 
the DupuYS and opens the door) 

(Rowlands clears his throat.) 

Mrs. Dupuy. Bessie love, we mustn't keep Mr. 
Rowlands from his interview any longer. He's sim- 
ply glaring at us. {Crosses in front of c. chair 
to above the desk and l. of it. Bessie follows and 
stands above the desk) 

Rowlands. Oh, Mrs. Dupuy, now really! 

Mrs. Dupuy. Yes, you were ! {As she goes 
down l.) Bessie dear, I hope you've noticed every- 
thing so you can make a nice entry in your diary. 
(At door L.) This is the door that leads to Abraham 
Nathan's private office. {Turns to Bart's desk) 
This is the desk where Mr. Bart sits and thinks 
those wonderful thoughts that have set all New York 
talking. {Sits in Bart's chair, putting the Pom on 
the desk) This is the very chair he sits in. 

( Bart smiles. ) 

Bessie. How wonderful! But, Mama, ask him 
if it's true what we hear about him and Corinne 
Stanlaw. 



A 



74 'H^=^AILOR-MADE MAN 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Rises and goes to r. c. Bessie 
following) Oh, yes! Is it? 

John Paul. 1 don't know what you've heard, 
Madam, but I deny it. 

Mrs. Dupuy. Quite right. Deny it ; that makes 
it certain. Come, Bessie dear, we must go now. 
Say good-bye to Mr. Bart. 

Besste. {Goes to r. of Mrs. Dupuy and curtsies) 
Good-bye. 

Mrs.^ Dupuy. {Prompting her) " Mr. Bart." 

Bessie. Mr. Bart. 

John Paul. Good-bye, Miss Bessie. (Bessie 
goes ontside r. door) 

Mrs. Dupuy. {Going to r. door ; Bart moves to 
L. of her) Good-bye, Mr. Bart. {Turns and comes 
hack to Bart) Now remember, you've promised. 
(John Paul nods ; Greyson enters l. and comes to 
desk) Faithfully! 

John Paul. Faithfully ! 

Mrs. Dupuy. I shall count on you. 

John Paul. Very well. 

Mrs. Dupuy. {As she exits r.) Bessie love, 
wait for mother. 

(John Paul heaves a sigh of relief as he closes 

the door.) 

Greyson. {Speaking as yiRSKDw-uY exits) Oh, 
Mr. Bart ! 

John Paul. {As he comes above and to l. of 
desk, looking at some papers) What is it ; Grey 
son? 

Greyson. Mr. Nathan wished me to inquire 
whether you expected to be here for the rest of the 
aftrnoon. 

John Paul. Yes, and the evening, too. 

Greyson. He thinks of bringing in one or two 
of the directors. 




AILOR-MADE MAN 75 



John Paul. I see. (Greyson exits l.) Miss 
.Shayne, will you send for a messenger? 

Shayne. He's here. (Comes to above Bart's 
desk) 

John Paul. In just one minute, Mr. Rowlands. 

Rowlands. Certainly. 

John Paul. {Stands at his desk correcting page 
proofs and scrawling his O. K. at the top of each) 
S6rry to make you wait, but these printers' proofs 
are overdue. 

Rowlands. Proofs ? Oh, I hadn't heard. You're 
publishing a book ? 

John Paul. Oh, no, only a preface that Pm con- 
tributing to a remarkable volume by my private sec- 
retary. You may know him. {Indicating Sonntag 
lip R.) Dr. Gustavus Sonntag, one of our most 
brilliant thinkers. Doctor, this is Mr. Rowlands. 

Rowlands. {Moves over toward Sonntag) 
Doctor ! 

Sonntag. {Grimly) We have met. 

Rowlands. Really? I don't remember. 

Sonntag. It was you who recommended me to 
put the manuscript of my book in the bureau drawer. 

Rowlands. Oh, yes, in the tailor shop that day ! 
But, doctor, you failed to tell me that John Paul 
Bart of the American Oceanic, was going to launch 
you with a preface. That preface ought to sell you 
25,000 copies right off the press. 

Sonntag. {Surly) The book is for thinkers; 
the preface is for idiots. 

Rowlands. I see ! 

Sonntag. You will like the preface. '' 

Rowlands. Oh! {Laughs. Shayne and Bart 
register this with a head-shake and a stifled laugh) 

John Paul. {Handing proofs to Shayne) Tell 
him to take these on the run. {Sits at his desk, 
Shayne exits c, leaving door open. Bart turns 



A 

76 -^THE TAILOR-MADE MAN 

to Rowlands, who comes to r. of desk) Now, Mr. 
Rowlands, here we are. 

Rowlands. Fine ! They certainly do keep you 
at it ! 

John Paul. It was about those photographs for 
your Sunday Supplement article. I have them here, 
and I thought — (Picks up several unmounted pho- 
tographs) 

Rowlands. You mean to say you have those 
photographs for me already? 

Shayne. (Enters c. with several letters) Beg 
pardon — ! 

John Paul. Yes, Miss Shayne? 

Shayne. (As she crosses to above desk) But if 
you want to get these letters off on the next collec- 
tion 

John Paul. I do; it's important. (To Row- 
lands) Forgive me. Just one moment. (Row- 
lands moves dozvn-stage l. and up again. Bart 
signs the letters Shayne blotting them) And I'd 
like you to make a note of these speaking dates, 
Miss Shayne. Youngstown the 7th, Buffalo the 
1 2th, the Civic Club banquet, Harrisburg, — well, 
you know, they're all here. Jot them down. 

Shayne. I have. 

John Paul. And give a formal memorandum to 
Dr. Sonntag. 

Shayne. I did. 

John Paul. Is there anything you haven't done, 
Miss Shayne? 

Shayne. I haven't made a copy of your address 
to the Affiliated Textile Manufacturers. 

John Paul. I haven't written it yet, that's the 
reason. 

Shayne. I know it. 

John Paul. I'll have to stay in the office and 
plug it out this evening. Will you please send word 



rj"HE TAILOR-MADE MAN 77 

to my man and ask him to bring me in a bite to eat 
by and by? 

Shayne. I told him. (Hands him another let- 
ter) And here's another. 

John Paul. What's that? 

Shayne. An invitation from Mr. Jelllcot ask- 
ing you to a Httle affair at the Ionian Yacht Club. 

John Paul. Drop him a line, please, declining 
with a word of thanks. 

Shayne. I did. (Goes up c. to filing cabinet^ 

John Paul. (To Rowlands) Now for these 
photographs. (Telephone. To Shayne) Miss 
Shayne, haven't you answered that yet? (He and 
Rowlands smile) 

Shayne. (Comes down and picks up phone) 
Mr. Bart's office. (To Bart, after listening a mo- 
ment) Miss Stanlaw to speak to you, sir. 

John Paul. Tell Miss Stanlaw I'm very busy at 
present, but will look for her as was arranged at 

Shayne. Five thirty. (In phone) Mr. Bart is 
very busy just at present, but will look for you at 
five thirty. (Listens a moment, then with a dry 
chuckle, hangs up) 

John Paul. What did she say? 

Shayne. Nothing. She hung up. 

John Paul. Fine! (Shayne exits c. with the 
letters. Rowlands comes to r. of desk) Now I 
want this stuff railroaded right through the works. 
There's not an hour to lose. We're facing the biggest 
crisis we've ever faced, and this must be before the 
public next Sunday without fail. How about it. 

Rowlands. I'm your man. I'll make up the 
story to-night. Have you got a title ? 

John Paul. Yes, " Abraham Nathan, the Colos- 
sus with a Heart." 

Rowlands. That's the goods ! Contrast-drawn- 
heart interest—! 

SoNNTAG. (Taking Rowlands' tone) Rubbish! 



A 

yS -=^^^=TAILOR-MADE MAN 

. Rowlands. I beg pardon! 

John Paul. Dr. Sonntag is talking to himself. 
(SoNNTAG grimts) How many words will you 
have ? 

Rowlands. About six thousand. 

John Paul. (Rowlands over his shoulder) 
With the pictures that'll make two articles. And 
look here ; what we want to plug and plug hard is 
this : Power and heart ; A Napoleon of Organiza- 
tion ; a Colossus among Pygmies ; and yet the heart 
of the man simple and sweet as a schoolboy. Plain 
habits; loves his dog — {Shows a photograph) 
There's his favorite dog. Mathilda, with her pup- 
pies — hired for the day. I took them down with 
me last Sunday to his country place. Loves his 
home — loves his family — (Shows another photo- 
graph) There he is with his five little grandchildren. 

Rowlands. Simply oozes! That'll go on the 
cover. But tell me, are there really five grand- 
children ? 

John Paul. Oh, I may have borrowed a couple 
of extras. 

Rowlands. (Laughs) I take off my hat to 
you ! 

Sonntag. (Sneeringly) Do! That's right! 
They're all doing it ! 

Row^LANDS. (Taking a step toward Sonntag) 
You're right. Little Sunshine, you're right ! 

John Paul. And there's Sally Georgianna 
Washington Jones — (Rowlands comes hack to 
desk) the old Mammy that toted Mrs. Nathan 
when she was a baby. See, she's standing on the 
steps of the rose-covered cottage — rose-covered, 
don't forget that. 

Rowlands. " Rose-covered." 

John Paul. Mr. Nathan built for her, ending 
her days in peace. Happy old face. 



- Tim TAILOR-MADE MAN 79 

Rowlands. Is it a fact that she calls Nathan 
her little old pet lambkins? 

John Paul. Well, if she doesn't she ought to- 
self-evident necessity. (Presses Buzzer on desk) 
And here's a fac-simile of — {Is about to show him 
another photograph, hut hands them all to him) 
No matter, they're all labeled and you'll know how 
to use them. {To Shayne, who enters c. with a 
large envelope) Miss Shayne, will you make a 
note of these photographs Mr. Rowlands is taking? 

Shayne. I did ; and here's the envelope. {Takes 
the photographs from Rowlands and puts them in 
the envelope) 

Rowlands. You're all right, Miss Efficiency. 

Shayne. I know it. 

Rowlands. Mr. Bart, I certainly congratulate 
Nathan on having attached you to his interests. 
Why, a year ago the American Oceanic was the 
target for every cheap- jack mudalinger in the coun- 
try, and now see what your publicity campaign h-^ ^ 
done. From Bangor to Seattle the American pub- 
lic is coming over to you. {Takes photographs frofti 
Sieayne, zvho moves up to cabinet c.) 

John Paul. The public was ready to come over; 
it was only waiting for the right word. 

Rowlands. The right word, yes, but what was 
it? You found it. {Crosses to l. c.) 

Sonntag. {Rises and comes to c.) Not at all 
— I found it. 

John Paul. True. Dr. Sonntag is referring 
to his theories of Property. 

Rowlands. Property? I see! Well, you may 
have found the word, Doctor, but you didn't know 
how to say it. 

vSonntag. In other words, I am not a mega- 
phone nor a semaphore nor a lady's lap dog! {In- 
dicates Bart with a look) 

Rowlands. Well, who said you were? 




8o 1ffi#-TAILOR-MADE MAN 



SoNNTAG. Oh, I know ! You are like the rest. 
You think that is the way to win success. But I 
tell you a success like that has no foundation — it 
will crumble at a touch. And if you don't believe 
me, wait till the big strike comes. 

John Paul. The big strike is not going to come. 

SoNNTAG. (Goes in front of Rowlands to above 
Bart's desk. Rowlands gets his hat from the ca- 
binet) Well, it's called for to-morrow. 

John Paul. So I understand. 

Sonntag. Yes, to-morrow 1 And the fault is 
yours ! 

John Paul. Mine? 

Sonntag. Yes ! Have you taken one of the 
steps recommended in my book to suppress the 
Proletariarchy ? No ! And now comes the result ! 
Every shipyard of the American Oceanic will be 
empty and idle to-morrow. You wait and see! 
{Comes down-stage l. of desk) 

John Paul. {As he rises, goes below desk and 
to R. c.) Well, while we're waiting, Mr. Rowlands, 
if you'll come with me I'd like to show you the 
model of our new shipyard at Sandy Point below 
Wilmington. (Rowlands goes r. above c. chair; 
Shayne moves to l. of desk and arranges papers) 
It's out here in the engineering department, and 
I believe there's a very good story in it for you. 
{Takes Rowlands with him as he crosses; Sonn- 
tag moves R.) Some innovations that are really 
epoch-making. Do you know there's an electric 
hoist that can actually lift — (Rowland goes in 
front of Bart and off r. Bart follows him off, 
closing the door, just as Sonntag reaches it) 

Sonntag. {With a growl) Conceited young 
upstart ! 

Shayne. Who's conceited, I'd like to know! 
You shouldn't talk like that, Dr. Sonntag. Haven't 
you got a nice easy berth here ? Don't you get twice 



A 



-=Tim T AILOR-MADE MAN 8i 

the salary you'd earn any other place? Where's 
youn' kick ? 

SoNNTAG. (As he goes upstage r. to his desk) 
Oh, I see ! You're in love with him, too. 

Shayne. I'm no such thing! 

SoNNTAG. It was just the same way with the 
young lady I'm going to marry. She was always 
teasing me for news of John Paul Bart, but I put 
a stop to that ! It disgusts me how you women have 
no perspicacity. {Sits at his desk) 

Shayne. Oh, is that so ! {Up to c. door) WeU, 
we can tell a man when we see one, anyhow ! {Exits 
c. Voices are heard off l.) 

Nathan. {Enters l. and comes in front of c. 
chair, Stanlaw follows him on, goes up l. and to 
c. Whitcomb follows Stanlaw and stays down 
L.) Good afternoon. Is Mr. Bart here? 

SoNNTAG. {Comes down to r. of Nathan) No, 
President Nathan. I'm sorry, sir, but Mr. Bart has 
just stepped out with that newspaper man. Is there 
anything I can do for you, sir? 

Nathan. Yes ; find him immediately and tell 
him I want to see him here. 

SoNNTAG. {Servile) Yes, sir. {Exits r.) 

(Stanlaw goes dozvn r.) 

Whitcomb. {Coming to c.) Do you actually 
intend to let him handle that workmen's delegation 
this afternoon? 

Nathan. {Sits c.) I certainly do intend to let 
him handle that workmen's delegation this after- 
noon. 

Stanlaw. Well, I must say it seems a little 
irregular. {Sits down r.) 

Whitcomb. {Testily) Irregular! Confound 
it, it's preposterous ! 

Nathan. Oh, very well, Whitcomb, will you 
handle it? 




82 -¥?»TAILOR-MADE MAN 



Whitcomb. I ! 
Nathan. Yes. 

Whitcomb. {Indignantly^ as he goes up Ri of 
desk and to l. of it) What! Get into a free-for- 
all fight with a bunch of insolent pig-headed dele- 
gates ! Well, I should say not! (Comes dozvn l.) 

Nathan. Gentlemen, you don't seem to appre- 
ciate the fact that we are threatened with a big 
strike. 

Stanlaw. I appreciate it. 

Nathan. Well, some one must handle it. 

Whitcomb. Oh, my advice is : post your terms 
and let them take them or leave them! (Comes to 
R. of desk) 

Nathan. I see. And suppose they won't take 
them ? 

Whitcomb. Then to the devil with them ! What 
do you say, Stanlaw ? 

Stanlaw. You're wrong, Whitcomb, you're 
wrong ! That kind of thing don't go any longer, 
does it, Nathan? Times have changed. You can't 
get away with it. 

Whitcomb. Why not ? Don't we pay them good 
wages? Mighty good wages! (Sits in chair r. of 
desk, moving it doivn a bit) 

Stanlaw. But that ain't what they're after. 
There's something else in the air — something new. 
They've got — what's the word? 

Nathan. Ideas. 

Stanlaw. Exactly. 

Whitcomb. Oh, poppycock I 

Stanlaw. And the thing's got to be handled ac- 
cordingly 

Whitcomb. Then if you know so darn much 
about handling a strike situation, why don't you 
handle it yourself? 

Stanlaw. Oh, no, that's just it! None of us 
old line fellow^s can handle it. Our ideas are set. 



A 

^ ^ME-T AILOR-M ABE MAN 83 

I tell you, the man v/ho can handle this thing is the 
man with the — {To Nathan) What do I mean? 

Nathan. The man with the 20th century imag- 
ination. 

Stanlaw. That's it ! Got to be able to see things. 

Whitcomb. Yes, things that ain't there. 

Stanlaw. No, things that are there. I talked 
the matter over with my wife and that's the way 
she feels about it. 

Whitcomb. Your wife ! What does your wife 
or any other female know about business affairs? 

Stanlaw. My wife's a smart woman. 

Whitcomb. There's no such thing as a smart 
woman. I never met one in my life. 

Nathan. I'll have to give you an argument there, 
Whitcomb. It's the women of this country that will 
eventually be called on to settle the problems that 
we men have utterly failed to solve. Woman is 
the real power behind capital and the real power 
behind labor. Now this boy's plan is just the kind 
of proposition that the laboring man is going to 
take home and discuss with his wife. One thing 
is certain; the fight between capital and labor has 
got to stop. It means the salvation of American 
business, of the country itself ; perhaps of the en- 
tire civilized world. It is the woman and the woman 
alone, who is going to settle these questions, you 
mark my words. (Rises) 

John Paul. (Enters r.) Mr. Nathan, Dr. 
Sonntag said you w^anted to see me. 

Nathan. Yes. I do, Bart. (Shakes hands zvith 
him, then motions toward Stanlaw) You know 
Mr. Stanlaw. (Stands back of c. chair) 

John Paul. (Turns and shakes hands zvith 
Stanlaw, who rises) How do you do, Mr. Stan- 
law. How is that wonderful daughter of yours? 

Stanlaw. Fine! Fine as silk! (Takes a step 
up) 



A 

84 ^i^ TAILOR-MADE MAN > 

Nathan. (To John Paul) I want you to 
meet our senior director, Mr. Ludington Whitcomb. 
(Indicates Whitcomb) 

John Paul. (Crossing and extending his hand) 
Mr. Whitcomb. 

Whitcomb. How do you do. (They shake 
hands) 

John Paul. This is a moment I have long an- 
ticipated. 

Whitcomb. (After looking him over) Young 
man, how old are you? 

John Paul. Thirty-three years, four months 
and two days. 

Whitcomb. (With a dry chuckle) Well, you do 
keep track of figures, don't you? (Starts l.) Are 
you coming, Stanlaw? 

Stanlaw. Yes, I'm right with you, Whitcomb. 
(Whitcomb opens the door. Stanlaw starts l. 
speaking to Bart as he passes him) Come up and 
see Corinne, young man. (Exits l. followed by 
Whitcomb, zvho closes the door) 

Sonntag. (Enters r.) The committee from the 
Workingmen's Council is waiting down-stairs in the 
main office. 

Nathan. Show them in here. 

Sonntag. Here ! 

Nathan. To Mr. Bart's office. (At Sonntag's 
look of surprise) If you please! 

Sonntag. Yes, sir. (Exits r.) 

Nathan. Yes, Bart, I'm going to leave them to 
you. You're to have a free hand. We have de- 
cided to give that scheme of yours a try. 

John Paul. (Gratified, hut overwhelmed) Jer- 
usalem ! 

Nathan. Yes, young man, but you're to save 
the day. We expect success. 

John Paul. (Faintly) Yes, sir. 



A 

"ii-lij. TA ILOR-MADE MAN 85 

Nathan. The American Oceanic company can 
stand for anything but failure. 

John Paul. Yes, sir. 

Nathan. {Placing his hand affectionately on 
Bart's shoulder as he passes him on the way to l. 
door) Better have a record kept of the proceed- 
ings, Bart. 

John Paul. Yes, sir. 

(Nathan exits l.) 

Sonntag. (Enters r.) They're on their way 
up. 

John Paul. (Prills himself together and goes 
to his desk) Good! (Pushes Buzzer on desk) 

Sonntag. (With mock humility) May I have 
the great privilege of Hstening to your address? 

John Paul. Why, certainly. (Sonntag exits 
R. Shayne enters c. with notebook) Miss Shayne, 
I want a record kept of the proceedings. Will you 
be ready? 

Shayne. I am. (Comes down to l. of desk) 

John Paul. And will you bring me those little 
memorandas I dictated to you this morning? 

Shayne. (Handing him slips) Here they are. 
(Sits L. of desk and opens her notebook) 

John Paul. We're going to make a little his- 
tory here to-day. Miss Shayne. 

Shayne. I hope so. 

John Paul. I know so. (Sonntag ushers in 
Russell, Cain and Flynn) Come in, gentlemen, 
come in. (Russell comes slightly above desk, 
Cain c. and Flynn r.) I am very glad to see you. 
I am Mr. Bart. 

Russell. I am Mr. Russell. 

John Paul. (Bowing) Mr. Russell. 

Russell. (Introducing the men) Mr. Cain. 

John Paul. Mr. Cain. (Cain bows) 




86 -^liST^AILOR-MADE MAN 



Russell. Mr. Flynn. 

John Paul. Mr. Flynn. (Flynn bows) 

Russell. But we expected to see Mr. Natkan. 

John Paul. I realize that you are disappointed 
not to see President Nathan in person, but in his 
inability to be present at these proceedings, he has 
empowered me to act with plenipotentiary authority. 

The Men. Oh! 

John Paul. Dr. Sonntag, will you offer these 
gentlemen some chairs? (Sonntag shoves a chair 
R. c. to Flynn, tJien goes up R. and sits at his desk) 
Won't you be seated? {To Russell as Flynn sits 
R. of Cain c.) You have come to present your ul- 
timatum ? 

Russell. Yes. 

John Paul. You have it with you in documen- 
tary form? 

Russell. Yes. 

John Paul. May I see it, please? 

Russell. (He hesitates, looks at the other men, 
then slowly takes a document from his pocket and 
hands it to Bart) There. (Draws chair forward 
and sits R. of desk) 

John Paul. (Glancing through the paper) I 
see ! And this embodies the same points outlined 
in the memorandum submitted last week? 

Russell. Yes ; and we have agreed that there 
are to be no changes. 

John Paul. And the strike is definitely called 
for to-morrow ? 

Russell. Yes, sir. Unless our demands are ac- 
cepted in full, the strike is definitely called for to- 
morrow. 

John Paul. (Reading ultimatum) Calling out 
over 14,600 employees in the twelve shipyards of 
the American Oceanic Shipbuilding Corporation? 

Russell. Every man. 

John Paul. And stopping work on contracts — 




AILOR-MADE MAN 87 



{Puts the ultimatum on desk and picks up another 
paper and reads) — for steel ships now under con- 
struction for various lines representing a carrying 
capacity of 999,000 tons, and an investment of oyer 
one hundred and eighty-six million dollars. (Quiet- 
h) You bring all this to a stop to-morrow ? (Puts 

the paper dozvn) 

Russell. Yes, sir ; to a stop to-morrow. 

John Paul. I see. (Picks up the ultimatum) 
And this is your ultimatum. 
, Russell. Yes, sir. 

John Paul. Well, gentlemen, it can't be done! 
(Quietly tears the document to pieces. There is an 
instant of silence, then the three men jump to their 
feet and rush to Bart's desk) 

(Together.) 

Russell. What are you doing! 

Cain. He's tearing it up. 

Flynn. You've got an awful nerve! 

Russell. Now, look here, young fellow, don't 
you try to get funny with us ! We mean what we 
say — every damn word! 

John Paul. (Qiiletly, hut with decision, as he 
rises and faces them) And we mean what zve say — 
Every damn word! I tell you it can't be done. 

Flynn. Well, we might just as well go back to 
Headquarters. (Crosses to r. door and opens it) 

Cain. (Goes to r. c.) We didn't come here to 
be insulted ! 

Russell. (Starts to c.) Well, I should say not! 

John Paul. Wait! (The men stop. Flynn 
closes the door) Do you actually suppose you have 
the privilege or the right or the power to keep the 
world waiting for those ships at this crisis of his- 
tory? An hour when every worm-eaten tub that 
can put to sea is bursting her hatches with her 
cargo — (Russell and Cain come hack to former 
positions) — of food and clothing and structural 



SS ^Sffi TAILOR-MADE MAN 

steel and machinery and implements and building 
materials — necessities of life, every one of them — 
and the whole public of the whole world crying out 
with its need of them ! 

Cain, (c.) Ah, the public be damned! 

John Paul. (Quickly) Fine! Thank you for 
those words: The public be damned! There's the 
thing in a nutshell. I wonder if you remember who 
it was first uttered that significant little phrase? 
Was he a laboring man ? No, my friends, he was a 
railroad president. You've reversed the roles, that's 
all. It's you that damn the public now. (Sits at his 
desk. Cain comes in front of c. chair) 

Russell. (Moves to r. of desk) That isn't the 
way he meant it. He spoke too quick. But the 
thing is this : we know what we want and we're go- 
ing to get it ! 

John Paul. And we know what we want — and 
we're going to get it. 

Russell. Oh, you are, are you ! 

Cain. (Over to desk) That sounds pretty good ! 

Flynn. (Goes r. and is about to open door 
again ) Oh, come on ! 

Russell. Wait a minute, Flynn. 

(Flynn stops.) 

John Paul. Yes, gentlemen, we're both going to 
get what we want because we both want the same 
thing. 

Russell. What's that? 

John Paul. The same thing. We've never dis- 
covered it before because each of us has gone on 
thinking only about himself and hating the other 
man, and this hate has kept on growing and blinding 
us more and more until now we can hardly see the 
simplest fact of all, which is that we belong to- 
gether: that you can't do without us and we can't 



A 



=TAILOR-MADE MAN 89 



do without you : that fundamentally our interests 
must be the same ; identically the same. We both 
want one thinof — success. (Rises) And look here, 
bo vs. if we're J^oinsr to spend all our time getting in 
e?ch other's way — (Turns to Shayne) Pardon me, 
Miss Shayne — (To the men) How the hell can 
we expect success! (The men laugh and come to- 
nether c.) Now, teU me ; are you ready to talk bus- 
iness with me on that basis? If you are, please sit 
down. (Russell nods to the men, the three sit) 
That's fine! (Sits at his desk) And first I want 
to sav right out that we've been more to blame than 
you have. We've been dealing all these years with 
industrial units, with two-!er^ged kilowatts, not with 
men. And we've missed all the best you have to 
give us through ignoring the fact that you're hu- 
man ; that you have ambitions and ideals of your 
own ; that you care, and that if only we could get 
you to care for us, believe in us, be loyal to us— 
(Rises and comes to front of desk) You may iiot 
believe it, my dear Mr. Russell, but I know what it 
is to feel that your boss is down on you. I had a 
friend once, a wide-awake, manly, ambitious young 
chap — I knew him well — who worked in a tailor 
shop. 

SoNNTAG. (Sarcastically, as he leans back and 
looks at Bart) Well, well! 

John Paul. (As the men turn and look at Sonn- 
tag) My secretary knew him, too, and he could 
tell you how they all hated him there. It was the 
same thing all day long : picked on for this, docked 
for that, never a word of praise or encouragement. 
And the result ? A day came when that boy couldn't 
stand it any longer. He walked out. That little 
shop lost a man who might have built it up into a 
rival of Brooks' Brothers. There was stuff in that 
boy ! There's stuff in every man if you can only 
bring it out. You want his loyalty? Then be loyal 



90 "'^ffe TAILOR-MADE MAN 

to him. We want to be loyal to you. Let's get to- 
gether, men. It can be done. (Crosses to c.) Look 
at what Charlie Schwab, the biggest industrial 
leader of the world, has achieved at Bethlehem. 
(Goes to R. of Flynn) Why, Mr. Flynn, why is 
Bethlehem steel the most productive and prosper- 
ous concern in the world? Because of its get-to- 
gether. From, president down to coal-heaver every 
man-in Bethlehem roots for Bethlehem. Can't we 
do the same thing with our proposition? Isn't it 
worth a try? 

Cain. That's very fine talk, young man, but just 
what are you driving at? 

John Paul. At this, Mr. Cain: we are partners. 
(Goes to R. of Cain) For everything you give us 
we give you in proportion. We're ready, Mr. Cain, 
to institute a schedule of bonuses covering the en- 
tire industrial lay-out of American Oceanic. Not a 
man will be neglected, not even the man with the 
wheelbarrow. For every load he trundles over and 
above the computed hourly average he gets a spe- 
cific bonus. (The men look at each other) And this 
same idea applies all the way up through the whole 
organization — stoker, presser, engineer, riveter — 
(Goes behind c. chair to l. c.) 

Russell. (Interrupting with skeptical curiosity) 
Pardon me, Mr. Bart, but how can you apply that to 
a skilled mechanic? That was my job when I 
worked in the shops. 

John Paul. Mechanic? (Goes up a step) Good! 
You're given a piece of work which averages, say, 
20 hours, at a regular wage of forty cents per hour. 
Well, if you finish that job in the average time you 
get a bonus of twenty per cent. And again; if you 
finish that job in half the time — you could, couldn't 
you, Mr. Russell, many a time? 

Russell. (Blankly) What? 

John Paul. I say, you could often finish that 



4 

-^Pt-HP TAILOR-MADE MAN 91 

job in half the average time, couldn't you? 

Russell. {Reluctantly) Well, yes, if I had an 
inducement. 

John Paul. {Going to r. of Russell) Oh! 
Well, now here's the inducement. You still get the 
same bonus, and there you are with ten hours to the 
good, ready to tackle the second job on the same 
schedule. How does that strike you? 

Russell. {Thoughtfully) Interesting. 

Flynn. Let me understand this, Mr. Bart. You 
mean — ? 

John Paul. {Crossing to l. of Flynn) I mean, 
Mr. Flynn, that every unusual effort you make is 
capitalized into profit for you. You give more — 
you get more ! Do you know that, my friends ? 
You get more than you ask for. Fully a quarter 
more than you demanded in those clumsy, short- 
sighted, unscientific stipulations. {Indicates ulti- 
matum on desk) 

Russell. In other words 

John Paul. {Going to Russell) In other 
words, my dear Russell, we're partners! Capital 
and labor-partners ! Ah, what a wonderful word ; 
partners ! Doesn't it make you feel things in a new 
way? It does me. {Turns to Cain) What do you 
say? Shall we get together and give it a try? 

Flynn. {Thoughtfully) Say, do you know this 
damn thing sounds kind o' good to me. 

John Paul. {Going to Flynn) My dear Mr. 
Flynn, it is good! Talk it over with your wife, she'll 
tell you it is. And now tell me this : what's the big- 
gest thing about the whole proposition? The fact 
that it comes now — nozu — just as America is jump- 
ing into the big place that's waiting for her in the 
world. I'm not a prophet, but I can read one thing 
out of the book of the future ; a day is coming when 
this country — this land we love — will be drawn into 
the universal vortex of war ! It's bound to come ! 



92 -4%E-TAILOR-MADE MAN 

It can't be escaped ! The thing will get us ! And 
then a new cry will go up : Ships ! Ships ! Ships ! 
Ships to feed the hungry ! Ships to avenge the 
innocent ! Ships to hound the pirates ! Oh, 
wouldn't it be glorious if we men here— you and I 
—all of us together — could be the first over the top 
in offering to our country the supreme utmost of 
our capacity ! That's the proposition. Are you 
ready? Shall we do it? Shall we do it? 

Russell. One moment, young man! If you're 
talking of the Government, we're with the Govern- 
ment tooth and nail. 

John Paul. Fine! Do you realize, Mr. 
Flynn 

Russell. {Interrupting with earnestness) Wait 
a minute, young man ! Have you got all this written 
down somewhere so I can read it off to the men to- 
night ? 

John Paul. You bet I have, and a whole lot 
more. {Crosses in front of Russell to desk) Miss 
Shayne? {She opens a drazver and hands him a 
paper) There you are! {Hands the paper to 
Russell) The whole schedule of bonuses is out- 
lined here. Take the matter up with your Council 
to-night, will you? 

Russell. Yes, sir, I will. 

Flynn. Yes, we'll be very glad to. 

John Paul. And now how about the strike? 

(Russell looks at Cain.) 

Cain. Well, we'll have to talk that over in 
Committee. 

Russell. {Rises) It may be hard to stop it 
now, but we'll see what we can do. We'll do our 
best. At least we can get a delay. 

Flynn. {Rises and goes to r. c.) Look here, 
Mr. Bart. I think it would be a good idea for you 



A 

^i¥iS=¥AILOR-MADE MAN 93 

to come over and speak to the Council yourself. 
Would you do that if we give ye an invite? 

(Russell rises and comes down l. c.) 

John Paul. {Over to Flynn) You bet I will ! 

Cain. (Rises) We'll send you word to-morrow. 

John Paul. What time? 

RussEL. (To the men) Ten o'clock? 

Flynn and Cain. Yes, that's all right. 

Russell. Well, we've got to get busy. {The 
men prepare to go) 

John Paul. One last thing. Will you give me 
your word there'll be no strike until the men have 
had time to look into this proposition? 

Russell. I give you my word. 

John Paul. Will you shake hands on it? 

Russell. By all means. {They shake hands) 

Cain. {Comes to r. of Bart) I should say so ! 
(Shakes hands with Bart and steps up-stage) 

Flynn. Want this one, too? (Crdsses and 
shakes hands with Bart) 

Russell. (Crossing in front and going r. of arm- 
chair) Well, boys, if we're going to get action on 
this we must be moving along. 

(Flynn and Cain are crossing to r.) 

John Paul. (As he follows Russell r. going 
above armchair) My dear Mr. Russell, I am very 
glad to have heard your ideas on the subject. 
( Opens the door. The men are talking as he ushers 
them out) Remember boys, we're partners. The 
more you earn, the more you get ! (Closes the door 
leans against it and heaves a sigh of relief) 

Shayne. (Jumps to her feet as the men go) 
Splendid ! 

John Paul. (Starts l. c.) Well, now I must 



-^hWailor-made man 



go and tell Mr. Nathan how they- 



SoNNTAG. (Springs to his feet and comes down 
R. c.) One moment! (With mock humility) Per- 
haps you will first consent to have a few little words 
with so humble a personage as myself. 

John Paul. Why, of course, Doctor. Miss 
Shayne, I shall want a typewritten record of the 
proceedings. 

Shayne. (As she goes up l. to c. door) I 
know it. 

John Paul. Oh, and will you telephone down 
to the main office and see if my valet is there? 

Shayne. Certainly. (Exits c.) 
■ John Paul. (Leaning on r. edge of his desk) 
Now, Doctor. 

SoNNTAG. (r. c.) I would like to know what 
you mean by getting chummy with those laboring 
tnen and patting them on the back. Is that accord- 
ing to the principles you learned out of my book ! 
My book taught you to be the champion of Property. 

John Paul. (Quietly) I am a champion of 
Property. Those men realized it. What are high 
wages but property? What is prosperity but prop- 
erty? What is self-betterment but property? 

Sonntag. Not my ideas of property. 

John Paul. Sorry, but I can't help that. 

Sonntag. You think now you can go along your 
own way and leave me out of account. 

John Paul. Am I leaving you out of account 
when I publish your book for you at my own ex- 
pense? No, I am determined to win for you the 
thing you have wanted so many years — public recog- 
nition. (A knock comes on r. door) See who that 
is. 

Sonntag. (Glares at Bart, crosses and opens 
the door) Your valet. 

John Paul. All right. 



A 



JIILE TAILOR-MADE MAN 95 

SoNNTAG. (Angrily) Come in. (Goes up R. 
and sits at his desk) 

PoMEROY. (Enters) Miss Shayne just sent 
word you wanted me, sir. 

John Paul. Yes, Pomeroy; I wish you'd touch 
things up a bit. I'm expecting some callers. 

PoMEROY. Very good, sir. (Straightens chairs 
dozvn R.) 

Greyson. (Enters l. and comes to Bart's desk) 
Mr. Bart ! 

John Paul. What is it, Greyson? 

Greyson. Mr. Nathan would like to see you in 
his private office. 

John Paul. Very well. (Exits l. follozved by 
Greyson. Pomeroy turns on szvitch l. of c. door. 
Telephone on desk rings) 

SoNNTAG. Answer the phone, Pomeroy. 

PoMEROY. (In phone) Hello! — Hello! — No — • 
no, Mr. Bart has just stepped out for a few minutes 
— This is Pomeroy — Oh, Miss Huber — No, ma'am, 
he'll be 

SoNNTAG. (Rises quickly, crosses and snatches 
the phone from Pomeroy) Hello, Tanya! — Tanya 
— Tanya, is that you! (Yanks the holder up and 
down.) Hello, Tanya! — Hello! — Hello! (To 
Pomeroy, as he places phone hack on desk) Why 
did Tanya Huber call up Bart? 

Pomeroy. (Has gone down l. of desk as Sonn- 
TAG grabs the phone) You never gave me a chance 
to find out. 

SoNNTAG. (Going to r. of desk) I say, what 
did she want ! Tell me, you damned cockney I 
(Bangs on the desk) 

Pomeroy. (Jumps) Didn't I tell you I didn't 
know anything about it! (Bangs the desk) How' 
should I ! 

Sonntag. (Starts r. c.) I'll find out! 

Pomeroy. (Coming down to front of desk) 



A 



96 •'eSK TAILOR-MADE MAN 

What are you ^oing to do, Doctor? 

SoNNTAG. I'm going to find out ! 

PoMEROY. Listen here, Doctor! (Sonntag 
Stops) This is no affair of mine, but if it would in 
any way relieve your mind to know it, John Paul 
Bart is aiming a good bit higher than a tailor's 
daughter. 

Sonntag. (Excitedly) Yes, for his wife he is 
aiming at millions, but for his pleasure, what is to 
prevent him from aiming at a tailor's daughter ! 
(Mrs. Stanlaw knocks on door r.) Come in. 
(Mrs. Stanlaw and Corinne enter. Sonntag 
with a grozvl, goes above them and exits r. slam- 
minq the door) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (c. to Pomeroy, after watching 
Sonntag exit) What's the matter with that man? 

(Corinne is ^.) 

PoMEROY. He's just a bit excited. Ma'am. Mr. 
Bart will be here directly. President Nathan wished 
to see him in his private office. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. {Crossing to R. of c. armchair) 
I see. But weren't you formerly Mr. Jellicot's 
man? 

PoMEROY. Yes, ma'am, but we had a little tiff 
over a dress suit, and Mr. Bart sent for me. (Starts 
up c. CooRiNNE moves up l. and looks out of 
zvindow) I will have Mr. Bart notified of your 
coming. (Exits c.) 

(Corinne crosses to r. c. looking about the office.) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Very well. (After Pomeroy 
exits she moves in front of c. chair) You know, 
dear, this is not a very dignified thing you're doing. 

Corinne. What do you mean? 

Mrs. Stanlaw. I mean coming here to Mr. 



TAILOR-MADE MAN 97 

Bart's office without a definite appointment. 
(Sits c.) 

CoRiNNE. When I phoned him they told me he'd 
see me at 5 :30. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. But you shouldn't have phoned. 
You should let him do that. 

CoRiNNE. (Crossing up-staqe to r. of Bart's 
desk) He'd never think of it. . He's a business man. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. And this is his p^ace of business 
where on'y matters of business should be trans- 
acted. 

CoRTNNE. That's why I'm here: to transact the 
most imoortant business of my life. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. What are you going to do? 

CoRiNNE. Invite him to spend the week-end with 
us at Lenox. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Corinne ! Why, I do believe 
you're actually forcing yourself on the man ! 

Corinne. Mother! (Rising) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Well, it looks very much like it. 
When I was your age I never thought of doing 
such things. 

Corinne. (Crossing to r. of her mother) But, 
dear, you never was my age — always a generation 
younger. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Well, in this age or any other, 
the ordinary man never admired a forward girl. 

Corinne. But Mr. Bart is not an ordinary man. 
He's a genius. It takes a genius to understand. 
(Looks at audience; imitates John Paul's man- 
ner of Act II.) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Corinne, what are you think- 
ing of ! 

Corinne. (Soidfully) Of John Paul Bart ! Of 
the things Napoleon left undone ! ( Crosses to r. ) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. ( Rises ayid goes to r. c.) Cor- 
inne, you're making a fool of yourself, and I'm not 



98 THE^AILOR-MADE MAN 

going to allow it. We'll not stop here another 
moment. Come along. 

CoRiNNE. {Sits R.) No, not until I have invited 
him to Lenox for the week-end. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. You'll do nothing of the kind. 
I'm the one to extend the invitation, not you. 

CoRiNNE. (Rises; overjoyed) Mother, will you 
do that? Will you do that for me? 

John Paul. {Enters l., crosses to Mrs. Stan- 
law who comes to c, and shakes hands) So sorry 
to have kept you waiting, Mrs. Stanlaw. Won't 
you sit down? 

Mrs. Stanlaw. No, thank you. We just 
dropped in for a moment. We were quite lost in 
admiration of your beautiful office. {Goes above 
c. chair and sits r. of desk) 

John Paul. {Crossing to Corinne) Oh, Miss 
Stanlaw ! So glad to see you again ! 

Corinne. Are you, really! 

John Paul. Why, of course ! 

Corinne. {Extends her hands, with a tzvinkle in 
her eye) Thanks! Thanks! 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Our purpose in running in, Mr. 
Bart, was to ask if you would care to spend the 
week-end with us at Lenox. We're going to open 
our house. 

John Paul. Lenox? 

Corinne. Yes. Have you never been there? 

John Paul. Never. 

CoRRiNE. Than you must come. It's glorious ! 
It's Paradise ! Those hills ! Those wonderful hills ! 
I've tramped them for miles and miles — all alone. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. {Uneasily) Corinne is a very 
strange girl. She likes to be alone. 

John Paul. So do I. I love to be alone. 
{Laughs nervously) 

Corinne. Not all alone. 

John Paul. {Embarrassed) Well, no, I always 



THE TAILOR-MADE MAN 99 

like to know that the hills are there with me, of 
course. 

CoRiNNE. Oh, it will be such fun! You'll just 
love Lenox! Won't he, Mother? 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (Rises) I hope so dear. 
(Crosses to Bart) May we expect you? 

CoRiNNE. (Soitlfiilly) Yes, may we? 

John Paul. I expect so — that is, I should say, 
yes ! Yes, of course ! I'm crazy to see those hills 
you speak of! (This Idst to Corinne) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Very well. I'll call you up to- 
morrow, Mr. Bart. (Starts r.) 

John Paul. (Taking a step to c.) Very well, 
Mrs. Stanlaw. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (As she crosses and opens r. 
door) Come, Corinne. 

Corinne. (To Bart) You won't forget; week- 
end — Lenox — the hills ? 

John Paul. I understand. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (Impatient) Come, Corinne. 

Corinne. Yes, mother. (Crosses to door, then 
turn to Bart) Good-bye! 

John Paul. Good-bye. 

(Corinne exits r.) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Good-bye, Mr. Bart. 

John Paul. Good-bye, Mrs. Stanlaw. (Mrs.. 
Stanlaw exits r. John Paul stands for a moment 
thinking, then goes up c. szuitches off the lights, 
crosses to his desk and lights a cigarette. Pause) 

Pomeroy. (Enters c.) I've ordered some sup- 
per for you, sir. 

John Paul. Thanks, Pomeroy. I'll be in di- 
rectly. (Comes down to l. c. thinking) 

Pomeroy. (Coming to l. of Bart) A little 
bit in the doldrums to-night, sir. 

John Paul. (Sits c.) I always supposed that 



A 



loo -^fi&TAILOR-MADE MAN 



if a moment like this should ever come in my life 
I'd be the happiest man in the world. 

PoMEROY. And you may say you've reason for 
it, sir, hob-nobbing with a man like Nathan ; wel- 
comed everwhere by the blue-bloods ; visited in your 
office by a famous heiress — and her mother. My 
word, it's quite like a fairy story, sir. 

John Paul. Queer proposition, life! 

PoMEROY. Queer's the word, sir. 

John Paul. You set your heart on something; 
you resolve to possess it, to make it yours at any 
cost — nothing shall stand in your way.' You strug- 
gle and sweat and strain every fibre of your body 
and finally, when you have it there in our hand, the 
thing you've set your heart on, sold your soul for, 
what is it after all ? You thought that was happi- 
ness. It's not. Smoke, that's all — and ashes. 
There's something missing. Some one thing I 
want. 

PoMEROY. How about a nice little cocktail, sir? 

John Paul. No, that's not what I'm missing. {A 
short pause, then Tanya knocks loudly and hur- 
riedly on R. door) See who that is, will you? 

PoMEROY. Yes, sir. {Crosses and opens the 
door. John Paul rises, crosses to his desk and 
puts out his cigarette. Tanya enters and comes 
hurriedly and nervously to c.) 

John Paul. (Comes quickly down to her) 
Tanya ! Not you ! 

Tanya. (Nervously, looking about the room) 
Are you alone? (Pomeroy exits r. as she looks at 
him ) 

John Paul. Yes. Why, it seems years since I 
saw you last — years. Sit down. 

Tanya. Oh, no, I can't! Mr. Bart, I wouldn't 
have come only I know — I mean I didn't know who 
might open your letters for you, and — and then 
when I tried to telephone you — half an hour ago 



TAILOR-MADE MAN loi 



John Paul. Tell me, what is it? 

Tanya. 1 came to you because I thought I 
ou^ht to tell you something. 

John Paul. Why, what is it, Tanya? Some- 
thing I can do for you? You know Fd do any- 
thing in the world for you. 

Tanya. Oh, no, it isn't me — it's for you. 

John Paul. For me ! 

Tanya. Oh, John Paul, Dr. Sonntag hates you 
so terribly! I know some dreadful thing is going 
to happen ! He says things that frighten me so ! He 
threatens to expose you ! (John Paul comes slowly 
to R. of desk — Tanya goes up above c. chair) I 
begged ! I pleaded with him ! I couldn't bear to 
have him spoil it all for you now ! I couldn't bear 
it. {Goes up a step) 

Greyson. {After a slight pause — he enters down 
L. carrying a paper, as he sees Tanya) Oh, I beg 
pardon ! 

John Paul. What is it, Greyson? 

Greyson. {Going to 'E art) Mr. Nathan wished 
you to give this your immediate attention. {Hands 
him the paper) 

John Paul. All right. (Greyson exits l. Bart 
lets the paper drop on his desk) 

Tanya. {Comes dozvn again) Oh, John Paul, 
I am so proud of your success ! Why, almost every 
day I manage to hear some little scrap of news 
about the wonderful things you're doing, and it's 
so nice to think that great man who's bringing the 
world to his feet, used to be there, one of us, in 
that little shop; we were friends. {Sits c.) It' 
given me a feeling of having a share in it myself — 
that I was really doing something, don't you see? 
Oh, they mustn't spoil it now ! They shan't spoil 
it! It has been so beautiful! {Bozvs her head, al- 
most in tears) 

John Paul. Tanya, is it true ? You care? {She 



102 iHfS^TAILOR-MADE MAN 

looks at him) I never dreamed anyone cared. It 
makes everything look so different. Why, it's a 
different v/orld. 

Tanya. (Rises) I must go now. I only wanted 
to tell you. — Oh, John Paul, please be careful and 
don't do anything that might offend him because I 
don't know what he might do, really, I — good-bye. 
(Extends her hand) 

John Paul. (Takes her hand) Not yet, please. 

Tanya. No, I must go. I'm afraid I oughtn't 
to have come at all. 

John Paul. But can't we be friends? Aren't 
we going to see each other again? 

Tanya. What would be the use? You belong 
to your world and I belong to my world. You're 
going higher and higher, doing bigger things all 
the time, and I — I'm going to Vv'-atch you from 
a long way off and always be so proud of you ! 

(Bart moves toward her as though to embrace 

her.) 

PoMEROY. (Ojf R. c.) You can't go in! He's 
not going to see anyone to-night! 

SoNNTAG. (Ojf R. c.) Let me in, you dog, or 
I'll kill you ! (He hufsts into the room, followed 
by PoMEROY, who is trying to stop him. Tanya 
goes in front of Bart. Pomeroy goes over r. 
SoNNTAG comes down r. c.) Ah, I thought so! 
This is what happens the moment I am away ! 
You watch till I am gone and then you come hurry- 
ing- here for his kisses ! 



^fc. 



(Tanya moves above c. chair.) 

John Paul. Dr. Sonntag, I give you m}^ word 

of honor 

Sonntag. Your word of honor! Your word of 



-^*fiE TAILOR-MADE MAN 103 

honor ! There was something between you even 
in the tailor shop, but I was not lucky enough to 
catch you. This time it is different. 

John Paul. Will you let me explain? 

SoNNTAG. No, I will not let you explain. Do you 
think I can't see for myself ! 

Tanya. {Down quickly to Sonntag) Oh, but 
Gustavus, it was my fault ! Do anything you like 
to me, but don't — don't 

Sonntag. Yes, plead for him, you ! Plead for 
him ! 

John Paul. Dr. Sonntag, she has done nothin^T^ 
that deserves any blame. Nothing ; but if you must 
blame someone, I am here, and for God's sake, let 
us settle this between ourselves. 

Sonntag. Very well. {To Tanya) You go 
home. 

Tanya. No! {Moves over to John Paul) 

John Paul. Dr. Sonntag is right ; you had best 
go home. 

(Sonntag goes up l. c. out of the scene, btit zvatches 

them.) 

Tanya. No, please let me stay ! 

John Paul. {As he moves slowly over r. zvith 
her) Don't be afraid ; it's all right. Don't you see 
you can't do the least bit of good by staying? 

Tanya. Please don't send me away ! 

John Paul. Don't be afraid; it's all right — it's 
all right. Pomeroy, will you please see Miss Huber 
home? 

Pomeroy. Yes, sir. {Drops down mid opens r. 
door. Tanya exits followed by Pomeroy) 

John Paul. {Moves up r. c. Sonntag turns 
to him) And now, sir, I am ready to hear what 
you have to say — (Sonntag starts to speak) — but I 
warn you right here — the first word you speak 



104 THE TAILOR-MADE MAN 

against Miss Tanya will be the last word you speak 
in this room. Her name must be kept out of this. 
She is entirely without blame and if you can't be- 
lieve it, so much the worse for you. 

SoNNTAG. And you think it matters to me now 
who is to blame ! Too late for that ! One thino- 
is plain enough and you need not try to deny it ! 
You love the woman that bc'Ongs to me! 

John Paul. She does not belong to you ! She 
never did belong to you ! You never had her love ! 
You never asked for it ! You never even thought 
of asking for it All you cared about was • 

SoNNTAG. {Furiously) Ah!" you think you 
can tamper with another man's property and not 
pay a price for it ! I tell you this is the end ! You 
were the man I made and now you are the man I 
will nyi-make ! The world shall have your story! 
It shall know that only nine months ago you were 
a scurvy tailor's hand, and that it was by stealing 
the dress suit of one man and the-brains of another 
that you sneaked your way into the society of your 
betters. You are done for! {Crosses to r. door) 
To-morrow every newspaper in New York will have 
your story ! {Exits slamming, the door) 

Shayne. {Enters c. with her notebook, and 
comes to r. of desk) I'm ready ! 

John Paul. {Leaning on hack of c. chair) 
Ready ! Were you listening ? 

Shayne. Certainly ! 

John Paul. I'm going to beat him to it ! 

Shayne. I knew it ! {Sits r. of desk) 

John Paul. Dictation. To the Associated Press, 
for immediately delivery. John Paul Bart submits 
the following statement in resume of his recent 
personal history : On Tuesday, the 23rd of last 
March, being at that time employed as a presser 
in the tailoring shop of Mr. Anton Huber — {Ring 
curtain) he deliberately appropriated a dress suit 



::=S^^TAILOR-MADE MAN 105 

belonging to Mr. Theodore Jellicot, the well-known 
yachtsman, and appeared at a reception where he 
introduced himself to Abraham Nathan, President 
of the American Oceanic Shipbuilding Corpora- 
tion ■ 

Average time of act, 38 minutes. 

ACT IV 

Scene : Same as Act I. 

Morning of the following day. The scene is 
set the same as Act I except that the arm- 
chair R. of door is in front of table up R., and 
the pressng board tinder bench down r. 

Discovered: At rise of curtain Mrs. Stanlaw is 
seated l. c. Corinne is seated r. c. Huber is 
standing r. of desk l., holding a long slip of 
paper on which are names and figures. Peter 
is seated on the work-table zvith some sewing 
in his hands. Ruber's hat and coat are on 
table up L. of door. He zvears an apron and 
is in his shirt-sleeves. 

Corinne. (As the curtaiyi rises) Of course you 
realize that the whole town is laughing. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. So you see, Mr. Huber, when 
we read the extraordinary story in the paper this 
morning we came directly here to make sure it was 
true. 

Huber. Yes, Madam, it's the truth, but I don't 
know anything at all about the man. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. Then it is actually true that 
he was employed here? 

Huber. Yes, Madam, I am sorry to say. (Points 
to work-table r.) That was the table where he 
worked — when he did work. 



A 

io6 -"TffE^AILOR-MADE MAN 

(CoRiNNE rises and crosses to work-table.) 

Peter. The rest of the time he was talking. 

(Mrs. Stanlaw and Corinne laugh.) 

CoRiNNE. {Laughs as she holds up a pair of 
trousers) So this is the thing Napoleon left un- 
done ! 

HuBER. Yes ; and now think what a terrible 
scandal he has caused. {To Mrs. Stanlaw) You 
say you have seen the newspapers? 

(Corinne moves over to r. of Mrs. Stanlaw.) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (Coolly) Yes — glanced at 
them. 

HuBER. Columns and columns ! The whole 
town is talking. The telephone has been ringing 
since before I was out of my bed, and always the 
same question : *' Do you know anything about 
John Paul Bart ? " And how should I know ? " I 
ask them. You can't expect me to keep track of 
all the bad help I got to discharge. 

Peter. I should say not ! 

HuBER. {Crossing to Mrs. Stanlaw and show- 
ing her the phone list) Look once, lady ! Here's 
a list of the people Pm to notify if I hear any- 
thing. 

(Peter gets off the table and stands R. of it.) 

Mrs. Stanlaw. (Coolly) I see. 

Corinne. Little danger of hearing anything 
about John Paul Bart ! He's probably on his way 
to South America by this time. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. It's an excellent place for him ! 
He will be sure to start a revolution. {Rising and 
moving up c.) 

Peter. I always said he'd have a nice little uni- 



-tHIE TAILOR-MADE MAN 107 

form with stripes goin' round this way. 

(Mrs. Stanlaw and Corinne laugh and move 

up c.) 

HuBER. Attend to your work ! {Vkty.-^ does so. 
HuBER goes up to Mrs. Stanlaw) Permit me, 
Madam, to express my deep sympathy for you. 

Mrs. Stanlaw. My dear Mr. Huber, we don't 
need any sympathy. We hardly knew the man, but 
we thank you all the same for your kind intentions 
and the information. {She and Corinne laugh and 
exit c, toward l.) 

Huber. (Closes the door and comes down c. l. 
Peter goes up r. and around to R. c.) There, you 
see ! John Paul not only corrupts himself, but he 
makes a fool out of all the society people. (Moves 
l. c. chair to r. of desk l. c. Sonntag is seen at 
back, coming quickly from l.) 

Peter. {Moves r. c. chair to l. of zvork-tahle) 
If I hadn't kept a sharp look-out I would have been 
corrupted myself, so I would, workin' next him all 
day. 

Huber. I wouldn't wonder. 

Sonntag. (Enters and comes down c.) Good 
morning, Mr. Huber. 

(Peter gets newspaper from' zvork-tahle.) 

Huber. Good morning. Dr. Sonntag. 

Sonntag. (Nods to Peter) Peter! 

Peter. (Shows Sonntag the newspaper) Dr. 
Sonntag, have you seen this ? 

Sonntag. (Glancing at it) Yes, I've seen it. 
(Brushes it aside. Peter returns to his work r. 
of table) Look here, Mr. Huber, where is Tanya? 

Huber. Why, up-stairs, Doctor. 



A 

io8 ^¥i#^e^AILOR-MADE MAN 

SoNNTAG. Up-stairs? Did she tell you what she 
was doing last evening? 

■ HuBER. {Not iind'erstanding) Why no, Doc- 
tor, not as I remember. 

SoNNTAG. (Knozvingly) I see! 

HuBER. Oh, but I am sure it was nothing. 

SoNNTAG. (Same tone as before) Oh! 

HuBER. Why yes, now it seems to me she was 
home all evenmg quiet with her sewing in her 
room. 

SoNNTAG. In her room ! Well, she was not in 
her room when she was paying a secret visit to 
John Paul Bart ! 

(Peter listens.) 

. Huber. What are you saying ! 

SoNNTAG. I found them together ! I — / found 
them ! 

Huber. (Aghast) That is not true ! 

SoNNTAG. Very well, ask her! 

Huber. (Panse, as the two wen stand eyeing 
each other) I will! (Goes l. and calls, Sonntag 
tnrns up R. c.) Tanya! Tanya! 

Tanya. (Off l.) You want me, father? 

Huber. (Firmly) Come down, please. 

Tanya. (Off r.) Yes, father, dear. 
, Huber. (As he moves over toward Sonntag) 
Tanya would never deceive me like this. Impos- 
sible ! She was always obedient to her father. (Goes 
R. c. Sonntag moves l. Huber tnriis and sees 
Peter gazing off l. ) Go to your work ! 

(Peter exits R.) 

Tanya. (Enters l. and goes quietly to l. of Hu- 
ber^ who is R. c.) You wanted me. Father? 

Huber. Tanya, Dr. Sonntag has told me a thing 
which I do not believe. 



A 



^f& TAILOR-MADE MAN 109 

SoNNTAG. (Drops dozun l. c.) And therefore 
I wish him to hear it from your own lips. Kindly 
tell your honorable father where it was I found you 
last evening. 

Tanya. (Quietly) You found me with Mr. 
Bart. 

HuBER. (Staggered) Tanya! 

SoNNTAG. And who was there besides you two 
alone ? 

Tanya. (Quietly) Nobody. 

SoNNTAG. (With malignant triumph) There 
you have it from her own lips ! She was alone 
with him ! 

HuBER. Tanya, this is not the truth! 

SoNNTAG. Yes, it is the truth ! For a long time 
I have noticed a change in her. I knew there was 
something wrong, but she was clever and I never 
got any proofs till last night. But no matter ! Bet- 
ter last night than some night after I had married 
her ! 

(Tanya moves up r. c.) 

HuBER. (Crossing to Sonntag) Dr. Sonntag, 
how dare you talk that way in the presence of my 
daughter ! 

Sonntag. (Derisively) Your daughter! I'll 
give you some advice about your daughter ! 

HuBER. I don't want your advise! (Goes up c.) 
But I'll give you some good advice. {Opens the 
door) Get out ! (Points off. Sonntag exits up- 
stage c. to L. Tanya goes to l. c. Huber closes 
the door quietly and comes dozvn to r. of Tanya, 
putting his arms about her) Tanya, there is no 
need to tell me. I know you have done nothing to 
be ashamed of — (Tanya looks at him gratefully) 
—and if Dr. Sonntag can't believe you are a good 
girl I am glad that you are done with him, glad ! Ii 



1 10 :^S^TAILOR-MADE MAN 

was time ! But Tanya, why would you disobey 
your father? 

Tanya. Can't you see, Father dear? Some 
things are so much more important than obedience. 

HuBER. That is not true, my child. A thousand 
generations behind you rise up and tell you that 
is not true. 

Tanya. What is behind me does riot matter any 
longer. This is America. I look forward — for- 
ward. (Stands looking out in front of her) 

HuBER. (After a pause) Tanya, did you love 
Dr. Sonntag? (John Paul comes slowly from l. 
aiid stands quietly looking in at window of c. door. 
Tanya shakes her head in anszver to Ruber's ques- 
tion) Is there someone else? (She nods — looks 
up as if to speak, then drops her head) Who is it, 
my child? 

Tanya. It doesn't matter. He doesn't — (Un- 
able to control her voice, she quickly exits l. Ru- 
ber stands looking sadly after her, then sinks Into 
the chair r. of desk l. c.) 

(John Paul opens c. door and stands inside holding 
it open. At the same moment Peter, carrying 
an armful of clothes, opens door r. and stands 
holding it. He and Bart stand and look at 
each other.) 

John Paul. (With the same manner as in Act I) 
Good morning, Mr. Ruber. (Closes the door and 
comes c. Ruber rises. He and Peter stand star- 
ing at Bart) I trust my slight tardiness has not 
caused you any inconvenience, I was unavoidably 
detained. 

(Peter closes r. door and puts clothes on the' 

table.) 
Ruber. Detained ! After nine months ! After 




AILOR-M ADE MAN 1 1 1 



nine months you walk in here and talk as if you 
were late for work ! Are you dreaming ! 

John Paul. Perhaps — I'm not sure. It seems 
like a dream. (Pause — then he slowly moves down 
R.) Peter! (Nods casually to Peter; then goes 
to work-table, whistling, takes off his coat, hanqs 
it up and starts to work. Peter crosses upstage and 
goes to Huber. The two stand and zvatch Bart 
several seconds zmthout speaking. 

Huber. {Handing Peter the telephone list) 
Telephone these people. (Peter exits l., gazing at 
Bart. Huber goes to c.) And now, John Paul 
Bart, will you have the kindness to tell me what is 
the meaning of this ? 

John Paul. Destiny — (Tests the iron) — Mr. 
Huber. 

Huber. What ! 

John Paul. {Fres'sing a pair of trousers) Yes, 
it picks you up by the coat-tails, whisks you off 
among the clouds, and then by and by back you 
come again ! Voila ! 

Huber. So you imagine you can work here again 
just as if you was an honest man ! You expect me 
to look over that you are a thief and an imposter and 
a rascal and a scapegoat ! 

John Paul. I don't expect anything, Mr. Huber 
— not just now. I'm holding my mind in a state 
of crystalline suspense — waiting. 

Huber. Then it may interest you\o know that 
Mrs. Stanlaw and her daughter were here just a 
few minutes ago. 

John Paul. I'm sorry I missed them. 

Huber. Sorry! {Laughs scornfully) Well, it's 
lucky that you did ! 

John Paul. {Gathering the story from Huber's 
manner) Oh, I see ! I thought so ! Still, I would 
have liked a chance to offer my apologies. 

Huber. Apologies ! From a tailor ! Mein Gott, 



^ 



112 -^tfe-TAILOR-MADE MAN' 

you're funny! (Goes l. c. laughing scornfully) 

John Paul. {Thoughtfully) Yes, it would have 
been funny — I dare say — still — {Quits his work and 
goes to c.) And now, Mr. Huber, I should like a 
few words with Miss Tanya. 

Huber. Yes, it's likely I would let you speak 
to my daughter ! You, the man who has caused the 
ruin of all my hopes ! 

John Paul. Just as you wish ! I can wait. 
{Returns to his work) 

Peter. (Enters l., comes down and taps Huber 
on the shoulder) Well, I telephoned them. (Hands 
list back to Huber) 

Huber. (Goes above desk) Peter, I have busi- 
ness up-stairs. Stay here and keep your eye on that 
man. I don't purpose he shall get away with an- 
other dress suit! (Exits l.) 

Peter. (Goes r., moves chair l. of work-table 
to R. c. sits, folds his amis and faces Bart) So this 
is what it comes to. 

John Paul. Instructive, isn't it? 

Rowlands. (Enters c. and comes down above 
work-table, laughing) Well, well, well, back at the 
old job ! Say, Bart, that's the one solution I never 
figured out. Look here, are you aware there's a mob 
of reporters playing Pinkerton on your trail? 

John Paul. I thought I might escape them here. 

Rowlands. Well, Pm glad I found you ahead of 
them, for it's my belief that something might be 
saved out of the wreckage. 

John Paul. You think so? 

Rowlands. Yes, sir, I think there's good stuff 
in you^some where. 

Peter. May be, but mixed up wi' an awful lot 
of rotten. 

Rowlands. (Turns to Peter) What are you 
doing here ? 

Peter. Pm workin' here. 



•:*HE TAILOR-MADE MAN 113 

RowT.ANDS. Working! (Laughs; Peter imi- 
tates him. To Bart) Yes sir. I believe that I could 
put your story before the public in such a way that 
they mie:ht change their attitude — even give you 
another chance, and I wouM— 

John Paul. (Interrupting) I see ! You wish 
to do an illustrated article on my origin, early in- 
fluences, education, home life 

Rowlands. (Interrupting) That's it exactly; 
write you up. Show what it was that sent you ofif 
on the wrong track. Put the blame, not so much on 
you as on your unfortunate environment. (Bart 
points to Peter, zvho glares at him; Rowlands 
laughs) And just to shov/ you how fair I want to 
be Pm going to propose that if you'll give me the 
story of your life, all rights 

(At the line '^ vour unfortunate environment^'^ 
Westlake, Bessie and Mrs. Dupuy are seen 
outside coming from l. They stop outside the 
door and talk) 
Westlake. (Enters c.) Is Bart here? 
Peter. Yes ; there he is. (Moves his chair hack- 
wards to L. c.) ; 

Westlake. (Calls to Mrs. Dupuy and Bessie, 
7vho are outside) It's all right, Mrs. Dupuy; you 
can come in. (Moves down l.) 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Enters c. zuith Bessie) Very 
well, just for a moment. But, Bessie love, stay 
close to mother. Thank you, Bobby.. You don't 
mind waiting? 

Westlake. Oh, dear no, not at all! (Goes up 
l., exits and off l.) 

Rowlands. Well, Mrs. Dupuy, you see I got' 
here ahead of you. 

(Bessie crosses to l. of work-table.) •' 



A 



114 -^J^^TAILOR-MADE MAN 

Mrs. Dupuy. Oh, Mr. Rowlands, I'm so re- 
lieved! (As Rowlands starts up c.) Don't go! 
One never knows about these places. 

(Rowlands goes up c.) 

Bessie. (Watching Bart at work) Oh, look 
Mother, look what Mr. Bart is doing! He's iron- 
ing some pants ! (Picks up large brush from table) 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Crosses, takes the brush from 
her, and goes back to c. with her) Trousers, dear, 
trousers ! And don't look any more. It isn't quite 
nice for a young girl. 

Bessie. But it's so funny ! 

Mrs. Dupuy. No, it isn't. Mr. Rowlands, will 
you amuse my little Bessie while I have a few 
words with this person? 

(Peter turns in his chair and watches the group 
up L. Rowlands takes Bessie over and up 

L. C.} 

Rowlands. Why, with pleasure. 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Turns tozuard Bart and bumps 
into Peter) What are you doing! 

Peter. My duty. Madam. 

Mrs. Dupuy. Well, do your duty somewhere 
else. (She goes below and to r. of him, then 
turns angrily) Oh, scat! (Peter slides his chair 
tip L. c. Mrs. Dupuy turns to John Paul. She is 
still holding the brush she took from Bessie. She 
fires it on the table) Now, young man, I have 
something to say to you. 

John Paul. (Amiably) I wonder if I can save 
you the trouble of saying it. You wish to let me know 
you have found it advisa^e to give up the little 
series of Lenten Afternoons. 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Furious at his intimate manner) 
Bessie child, come here ! 



A 

- ¥Hg rAILQR-MADE MAN 1 1 5 

Bessie. {As shv crosses to l. of Mrs. Dupuy) 
What is it, Mother ? 

Mrs. Dupuy. I want you to look at this person 
very carefully. I want you to notice that peculiar 
shifty expression about the eyes — (Peter slide's his 
chair down to r. of chair l. of desk, and stares at 
Bart) — and I want you to remember that is always 
a bad sign in a man. Yes, your poor father had it. 

Huber. (Enters l., comes below desk to l. o/ 
Peter) I beg your p>ardon, ladies! Mr. Rowlands! 
Peter, why did you not inform me? 

Peter. They come to see him. 

Huber. Go to your work ! (Peter rises and goes 
up R. Bessie has crossed to bench, and she and 
Peter exchange glances as he exits r. Huber goes 
to L. c.) Is there anything I can do for you, 
Madam ? 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Crossing to r. of Huber) No, 
unless you can explain to me why you employ such 
a man here. 

(Bessie goes above desk l. c.) 

Huber. (Greyson is seen outside, coming from 
L.) Ah, Madam, he is here only for an emer- 
gency. No, indeed, I am most particular about tl;^e 
moral character of my assistants. 

Mrs. Dupuy. That's as it should be. 

Greyson. (Enters c. To Huber as he closes 
the door and stands just inside it) Are you the 
proprietor of this establishment? 

Huber. Yes, sir. 

Greyson. Well, I came to find out about John 
Paul Bart. 

Huber. (Pointing) There he is. 

Greyson. (Looks at Bart and laughs) Mr. 
Nathan is outside in his car. He wished me to in- 




it6 -rmrT AILOR-MADE MAN 



ciuire \i^{Laiighs) Good Lord! {Exits c. and 
off I..) 

HuBER. Abraham Nathan! 

Rowlands. (Drops douni l.) Well, young fel- 
low, you have stirred up some excitement. 

Nathan. {Enters c, foUoiucd by Greyson) 
Good morning. 

Mrs. Dupuy. Abraham Nathan coming here ! 

Nathan. Wait in the car, Greyson. 

Greyson. Yes, sir. {Exits c. to l.) 

HuBER. {Obsequiously, as he goes up to l. of 
Nathan) Is there an\thing I can do for you to- 
day, sir? 

Nathan. Thank you, no. There's the man I 
came to see. {Turns toward Bart) 

John Paul. Good morning. 

Mrs. Dupuy. {Crossing to l. of Nathan, Hu- 
BER giving zvay) Ah, Abraham, I'm so sorry! I 
can imagine how terrible all this must have been 
for you. 

(Bart sits cross-legged on the n'ork-table.) 

■ HuBER. {Going to l. of Nathan) And I wish 
you to know, Mr. President, that long ago I would 
have exposed this impostor to the world had it not 
been for my daughter's sake. (Mrs. Dupuy moves 
l. c. as HuBER starts the above speech) 

Nathan. I see. Then I think I understand the 
attitude of all those present with the exception of 
the person chiefly involved. {Turns to Bart) 
Young man, I wish you would tell me what you 
mean by this eccentric behavior. 

John Paul. It isn't eccentric, it's scientific. I'm 
making an experiment. 

Nathan. Experiment ? 

John Paul. With Destiny. 

Nathan. I don't understand. 




AILOR-MADE MAN 117 



Joiix Paul. If the world can do without me, 
this is where I belong. If the world can't do with- 
out me, it must take me from here, out of the 
tailor shop, goose and all. 

Nathan. I see. And the result of your experi- 
ment ? 

John Paul. The main result hasn't resulted yet. 

Nathan. You refer to — ? 

John Paul. Yourself. 

HuBER. Permit me to say, Mr. President, that 
he is in the shop against my will. 

Nathan. Are you going to keep him? 

HuBER. Keep him! After what has happened? 
Well, I should say not ! 

Nathan. Then if he is willing to return to me 
I will be delighted to restore him to the position 
he was holding yesterday. 

John Paul. (Under his breath) Jerusalem! 

Mrs. Dupuy. V\^hy Abraham ! Are you serious ? 

Nathan. (Raising his hat as he moves to r. of 
her ; Huber going r. c.) My dear Kitty, not one of 
you seems to have realized that in this country a man 
is valued by what he gets to, not what he started 
from. Look at our biggest Americans ; the men we 
are proudest of . How did they start ? One began as 
a messenger boy. Another was a waiter in a res- 
taurant. Another sold papers on the' street. And 
another, the biggest of them all — you probably have 
never heard of him, Mr. Huber — (Turns to Row- 
lands) — though doubtless you have, Mr. News- 
paper Man — was a rail-splitter. Here is a young 
American who began in a tailor shop, and unless 
I very much miss my guess he's going to be num- 
bered in that same company. 

Huber. (Moves doivn r. of Nathan — his zvhole 
attitude completely changed) Well, it's certain 
John Paul was always a very clever young man. 
No one can deny that. 



'^m 



ii8 T¥¥E=TAILOR-MADE MAN 

Nathan. (Aniused) ' Thank you, Mr. Huber. 
You are very discerning. (Bows, zvith an ironical 
smile — Huber refuru's the bow) Now, may I ask 
for a few mmutes alone with him? 

Huber. Why. certainly, sir! To be sure! (Goes 
up L. and hozvs himself off l.) 

(Nathan moves to r. c. John Paul rises and 
stands l. of work-table.) 

Rowlands. (Going up to l. of Nathan) Mr. 
Nalhin, I take off my hat to you, sir. No wonder 
you're a big man. (Turns to Mrs. Dupuy and 
Bessie) Good morning, ladies. (The ladies bozv) 
Bart, I'll see you in your office. (Bessie moves 
down and over to below desk. Rowlands exits 
c. and off r.) 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Goes to l. of Nathan, Bessie 
moving with her) Of course, Abraham, if y oil look 
at it that way, I know you must be right. 

Nathan. (Amused) Thank you, Kitty. You 
are as discerning as Mr. Huber. 

Mrs. Dupuy. Yes, but watch me make up for it. 
(Comes dozvn to Bart extending her hand. Nathan 
moves L. Bessie comes down zvith her) Mr. Bart, 
will you shake hands with a silly old woman ? I take 
back every word I said. 

John Paul. (Laughingly, as he takes her hand) 
Including the shifty eyes? 

Mrs. Dupuy. Bessie dear, it's never safe to 
judge a man by the eyes ; eyes are changeable. But 
look at that forehead. Good-bye, Mr. Bart. (Goes 
up to c. door) Bessie dear, say good-bye to Mr. 
Bart. 

Bessie. (Curtsies) Good-bye. 

Mrs. Dupuy. (Prompting) Mr. Bart. 

Bessie. " Mr. Bart." 

John Paul. Good-bye, Miss Bessie. 



k 



^AILOR-MADE MAN 119 



Mrs. Dupuy. Ask Mr. Bart to come and see us. 

Bessie. Will you come to see us ? 

John Paul. Thank you. 

Bessie. Thank you. {Goes up to door c, opens 
it and stands outside) 

Mrs. Dupuy. And there's just one thing more, 
Abraham. Whether you believe it or not, I think 
you're just a darling, so there ! Good-bye, Mr. Bart. 
Come, Bessie. (Exits c. closing the door, Bessie 
preceding her) 

Nathan. (Crossing down to Bart) Bart, the 
Workingmen's Council have agreed to give your 
scheme a ten months' trial. 

John Paul. They have ! 

Nathan. On condition that you be put in charge 
of the Committee of Readjustment. Will you come 
back to us ? 

John Paul. You really want me? 

Nathan. (Affectionately) My boy, must I say 
it again? Yes, I want you — more than I can say. 
Don't desert me now. 

John Paul. You bet I won't. 

Nathan. Good ! Good ! (Business-like, as he 
goes up to c. door) Your office is waiting for you 
and the day's mail needs to be attended to. Half 
a day off is enough for a busy man like you. (Starts 
to go, then turns hack) Bart, I don't know how 
you've done it, but you make me feel like a young 
man again, and I tell you, that between us we're 
going to do things that will surprise them. Yes, 
sir. You watch! (Exits c. and off l.) 

HuBER. (Enters c. and goes up l. c.) You will 
excuse me, Mr. Bart, if I run out for a few min- 
utes? A little account at the bank that needs ad; 
justment. (Takes off apron, puts it on table up l. 
and puts on coat) And, Mr. Bart, I was going to 
say — if you would care for a few words with 
Tanya — ? 




120 -¥iffi=TAILOR-MADE MAN 



John Paul. I would, very much. 

HujjER. She was just coming down to look over 
her books. A good girl, Mr. Bart, a good, little 
daughter. Perhaps I have been wrong in trying to 
bring her up too much by the old rules. I dare say 
there is something to be said for the American 
way, after all. You will make yourself quite at 
home, Mr. Bart? Quite at Home — yes, sir — if you 
please. (Bows himself off c. c. toward l.) 

(John Paul moves slozvly over to l. q.) 

Tanya. (Enters l. and is deeply startled to see 
Bart. She moves to l. of him) Oh, I didn't know ! 
Nobody told me ! ( With an overmastering impulse 
of 'sympathy) Oh, John Paul, Pm so sorry! It was 
all my fault. 

John Paul. (With surprise, as he tenderly 
takes her hands) Your fault! Tanya, don't you 
know what's happened? 

Tanya. Yes, I read it in the newspaper. (Un- 
able to hold hack the truth any longer) But, John 
Paul, that doesn't make any difference to me. Noth- 
ing could make any difference — ever. 

John Paul. (Still holding her hands, he forces 
her gently into a chair and sits beside her) Tanya, 
Mr. Nathan has been here. (She looks startled) 
He asked me to come back to him. He wants to 
set me at a bigger job than any Pve tried so far. 

Tanya. (Withdrawing with a little pang of dis- 
may) Oh, then you're going back? 

John Paul. Yes, back into the big world. Will 
you go with me? 

Tanya. Go with you ! Oh, but I can't ! Pm 
nobody, and you 

John Paul. But Pm nobody, too. That's just 
why we ought to be so happy together. (Peter 
enters r. with an armful of clothes. As he sees 



s^m^^^' AILOR-MADE MAN 121 

Tanya and Bart with their heads together, he 
throws the clothes on the work-table and moves 
over to c, listening with his hand behind his ear) 
I wish you could have heard what Mr. Nathan said 
about that just now. " It's not what a man starts 
from," he said, " It's what he gets to — what he 
does." {Ring curtain slow) And he beheves there's 
a chance, if I do my best, that some day — Oh, Tanya, 
isn't Hfe the most wonderful proposition: with so 
much ahead, always — so many big things wait- 
ing to be done ! And a chance 

Curtain. 



122 THE TAILOR-MADE MAN 

ACT I— FURNITURE 

Carpet to cover 

Oblong table down r. c. chair l. of it 

Row of hooks on wall down r. 

Row of hooks on wall up r. 

Clothes stand above door r. 

Safe in corner above door r. 

Long table in front of window r. c. 

Long tab^.e in front of window l. c. 

4 tailor's dummies ; i in window r. c. i in window 

L. c. I r. of c. door; i l. of c. door 
Fitting stand discovered c. 
Show case above opening l. 
Desk (with practical drawers) l. c. 
Armchair l. of desk ; single chair r. of it 
Cheval glass below opening l. 
Arm chair r. of c. door 
Practical shades to windows r. c^and l. c, also 

door c. 
Light switch on wall l. of c. door 
Curtains to opening l. 
Small curtains to windows l. c. and R. c. 

ACT I— PROPERTIES ' 

On desk l. c. Pens, ink, blotting paper, ledger, re- 
ceipt book, fashion books, '' Sonntag's " book in 
top down stage drawer 

Clothes in showcase up l. 

Rolls of cloth, scissors and string on table in front 
of L. c. window 

Large cardboard boxes underneath this table 

Rolls of cloth, tape measure and wooden measure 
in front of window r. c. 

Sample books of cloths on safe up r. 

Various garments on hooks up r. and down r. 

Coat hanger on hooks down r. 



^TFS^TAILOR-MADE MAN 123 

Electric heated irons, board, and complete ironing 

outfit on table down r. c. 
Various portions of clothing on table R. c. 
Huberts coat on stand up R. ; his top-coat and hat 

off L. 
Rozvland's top-coat on table up by window R. c, his 

coat on back of chair L. of R. c. table; his keys, 

on R. c. table 
Dress suit off R. for Peter 
Sack suit off R. for Peter 
Hat box and suit case off R. for Pomeroy 
Organ and tambourine off R. 
Books off L. for Sonntag 
Ledger and two rolls of linen off l. for Tanya 
Photoglyph of two children for John Paul 
Pink slips for John Paul 
9 fashion plates (framed) on scene; i below door 

R. ; I above ; 3 r. of r. door ; 3 l. of c. door ; 7 

above opening l. i below opening l. 

ACT II— FURNITURE 

Carpet to fit scene 

Carpet to staircase 

Carpet in opening l. c. 

Rug in opening up r. c. 

Carpet to steps and opening r. 

Curtains to openings r., r. c, staircase, and open- 
ing L. c. 

Baby grand piano c. Piano bench r. of it 

Upholstered settee in front of the piano 

Upholstered armchair down r. 

Small dark oak chair down l. 

Table down l. ; Single chair l. of table, armchair- r 
of it 

Ornamental chair up l. 

Oak chair and chest in hallway up l. c. 

2 Jacobean dummy light standards with stone bases; 



A ' 

124 TMH T AILOR-MADE MAN 

I above and i below opening r. 
3 Palms through opening r. 
3 Palms and 2 plants on steps R. 
Fancy chair up r. and a bowl of palms on a pedestal 

above this 
Tapestried armchair in opening up r. c. 
Tapestried curtains to conservatory opening 
Oblong table r. of opening 
Basket flowers on pedestal l. of opening 

ACT II— PROPERTIES 

Oblong silver tray of drinks off up r. for servant 
Oblong silver tray of drinks off down r. for Peter 

— consisting of cocktails, rickies and Scotch 

highballs 
Small round silver tray of champagne (6 glasses) 

off up R. c. for Peter 
Fans for Mrs. Dupuy, Corinne and Mrs. Stanlaw 
Two fifty dollar bills for John Paul 

ACT III— FURNITURE 

Carpet to cover 

Large oblong desk with drawers, l. c. 

Single chair below the desk; swivel armch'^^'^ l. 

of desk 
Small armchair r. of desk 
Large leather armchair c. 
Large leather armchair down r. 
Small table up r. 
Single chair in front of it 
Filing cabinet up l. of c. door 
Armchair l. of cabinet 
Light switch l. of c. door 
Leather window seat l. 
Rug and armchair off up c. 
Dummy shades on windows 



- Jjife-T AILOR-MADE MAN 125 

ACT III— PROPERTIES 

On desk l. c. — Inkstand, calendar, pens, blue and 
black pencils, wicker tray of documents, blot- 
ting pad, telephone, bell buzzer, blotter, some 
large mounted photographs (i of a dog and 
pupies, I of a colored woman and i of a group 
of children) Telephone book, paper knife, 
small date pad, printers' proofs ; a typed page 
of statistics (see MS) in down-stage top 
drawer; an important looking document of 
several typed pages. 

I' or Shayne. — Large envelope for photographs, note 
book and pencil, several business letters, one 
priyate letter, and some pink slips. 
.On Table Up R. — Several printers' proofs, blue pen- 
cil, inkstand, and pens and blotter. Several 
pages of typed matter clamped together off l. 
for Greyson. Several pages typed matter 
clamped together for Russell. 

ACT IV— FURNITURE AND PR0PER:TIES 

The furniture and properties remain the same, with 
the following exceptions : 

The chair for r. of desk is placed l. c. and the chair 
from L. of R. table is placed r. c. 

The armchair r. of c. door is moved further over r. 

The fitting stand is now under the table up r. 

The clothes on the dummies have been changed, and 
those on the hooks and in the showcase re- 
arranged to show the lapse of nine months. 

The pressing board is now under the table. 

A pair of trousers, some garments, and a newspaper 
are on the work table r. 

2 large armfuls of clothing off down r. for Peter 

A long strip of names and telephone numbers for 
Huber 




126 ^^i^S^^AILOR-MADE MAN 

Huber's hat and coat are on table up l. 

ACT I— LIGHTING PLOT 
To Open. — Foots, amber, straw and white, Full 

Up 

Concert border Full Up 

4th and 5th border, straw and white. Full Up 

Amber and white bunch lights in doorway 
down R. and in opening down l. 

On back cloth 4 M. Watt lamps (frosted and 
straw mediums) 2 r. and 2 l. 

Chandelier from ceiling OUT 

Chandeliers in windows R. and l. Out through 
Act 

Street lamp out, to open 

Two hot irons on table r. 

Light switch l. of c. door 
At , Cue. — Pomeroy's entrance: 

Check foots and borders ; white and straw to J/2 

Change watts to light amber 
At Cue. — John Paul's Exit: 

Change watts to dark amber 

Check foots and borders slightly 

Take out white in 3rd and 4th borders and 
bring up blues in these borders, slowly 

Light street lamp 
At Cue. — As each shade is raised jump foots and 

concert border down; whites and straws out 

and ambers at ^, as last shade is raised change 

watts to blue and bring up borders 3 and 4 to 

blue, taking out ambers and whites. 
At C21C. — When Tanya pushes switch: 

Concert border and foots and chandelier up 
to FULL. 

NO FURTHER CHANGE. 

ACT II— LIGHTING PLOT 
Foots and concert border FULL UP 



74- 
^^HE TAILOR-MADE MAN 127 

Chandelier, 3 light brackets, lighted, and two 2 light 
brackets lighted 
Table lamp lighted 

Borders 3 and 4, amber and white FULL UP 
Off down R. I frosted light amber watt- 
Off down R. I straw frosted watt 
One amber watt focussed from off down r. to 

c. above piano 
One amber and frosted watt suspended above 

stairway 
One amber and frosted watt in ooening up l. c. 
ONE STRAW FROSTED WATT FROM 

UP R. NO CHANGE IN THIS ACT. 

■ ACT III— LIGHTING PLOT 



To Open. — Foots and concert border FULL UP 

Amber and white bunch lights in doorways 
down L. and down r. 

2 straw Watts on window backing l. 

I Amber Watt r. of c. doorway 

Telephone on desk l. c. to work from off r. 

Buzzer on desk l. 

Two straw baby spots in concert border ; i 
focussed on c. chair and i on desk l. c. 

Light switch l. of c. door 

Chandelier and 4 two light brackets OUT to 
open 
At Cue. — Exit o'f Labor Delegates: 

Check white in foots and border 

CHANGE Watts off l. to frosted, then to 
light amber 

Check foots and border a little more 

Change Watts off l. to dark amber 

Check foots and border still further 
At Cite. — When Pomeroy pushes switch: 

Chandelier and brackets up to FULL 

Foots and border UP TO FULL 



128 -^ffi TAILOR-MADE MAN 

At Cue. — When John Paul pushes switch: 
Brackets out 

White in foots and border down j4 
Change Watts off l. to blue 
NO FURTHER CHANGE OF LIGHTS 

ACT IV 

Same as opening of Act I. Iron must be HC)' 
NO CHANGE. 



V 



Deacidified using the Bookkeeper process. 
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Treatment Date: Oct. 2009 

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